hey... i know i suck. let's not even go there. lol
i've been too pissed at the world to post lately, and i know i should leave the political stuff to people better able to express themselves. every other word in such a post from me would be "fuck" or some variation thereof. i am just too angry to go there yet.
but... i volunteered myself for quite the good deed today. i have a cousin named michael who's stationed in iraq. somewhere in the neighborhood of kirkuk. he's a heavy equipment mechanic. being good at it is what finally got his ass dragged into this whole mess. the humvees and tanks and heavy transport are all in bad shape and he gets to cobble them back together. he goes on runs to salvage partially destroyed equipment. spare parts. bleh. god only knows what he might be seeing... blood and god... i don't even want to go there.
he was a sweet man... grew up sort of sheltered, became a very family-oriented man with 3 very young children. he's missing a year of those boys' lives, and i know it's killing him.
anyway, he's gotten other care packages. toilet paper and toothbrushes and all sorts of shit. KBR is really fucking with our people on the ground, and it's hard to get ahold of any of that sort of shit. but, when asked what he most wanted, he said he wanted some of our grandma's homemade cookies.
our grandma is almost 88 years old. making enough cookies to be worth sending over there is more work than she can manage. i got thrust into the role of cookie baker by my father and his older sister. granted, i am the best at it in the family. but it's flattering that they both thought so too.
the good deed isn't that. the good deed is that i am going to do it once a month, on my dime, for the rest of his deployment, and continue the ruse. it'll be like i went and spent the morning with grandma, taking cookie sheets out of the oven and talking... "visiting" you might call it.
he needs this. him and grandma are really close. always have been. i know he's missing her something fierce too. a hug from grandma once a month will help. michael being reminded of home and that the world is a good place and that people love him once a month will be worth the work and expense involved to me.
if you know anyone over there right now, a relative or friend, bake them some cookies. when i think of all the sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, and sisters and brothers over there, it breaks my heart.
and food for the soul isn't always food.