my bad.

yeah, i know... i suck.

but fuckit. this blog is still here, and i haven't posted in like 2 months. been a crap couple of months. my grandma died 3 weeks ago, and i'm smoking again. i need to get my head right and quit that filthy fucking habit before it costs me anymore money. it's already cost me my ability to smoke my big, beautiful bong comfortably. being a returning member of the no-lung clan sucks all conceivable ass, you know?

so. the weather is incredible today. i think the high was about 75°. sunny. a little smoggy too, but given how ache-free i feel i am not going to bitch. that's another thing that chaps my ass. i'm not exactly old, but i'm old enough to ache all fucking over when it's cold and damp. add that to the seasonal affective disorder my mom saw fit to pass on to me, and i fucking hate winter. but the days are getting longer, and when the weather is like this, i feel 10 years younger. i bet i'd feel awesome if i weighed what i did back then.

so that's my next project. i want to get down to what i weighed when i was 31. one thing i know for sure is that i am not going to be able to lose weight just by altering my diet anymore. yeah, another example of getting older sucking... my metabolism took a big shit all over itself when i turned 40, and then it did it again when i quit smoking. i am huffing away again and i've noticed my clothes getting a little looser on me. which means to lose weight while being a non-smoker is going to involve lots of fucking exercise.

i actually should weigh less than i did 10 years ago, but perhaps it won't seem so daunting if i break it up into smaller goals.

did i mention that...

the suites those motherfuckers spent those nights in went for $1295.00 per? per night? per person? that's like a month worth of unemployment for one night at that pile. and believe me, nothing comes cheap at the st. reeeg. not even if one is sleeping, eating, and parking as a group, as those fucknuts certainly were.

another thing - am i the only person in the world that wants to wring that skinny, over-surgeried, can't keep her fucking yap shut mrs. mcsame's neck? she's so underfed i could probably do it with one hand. gawd, she needs to shut it. too bad her plastic surgeon can't do us all a favor and botox her fucking vocal chords, you know?

also, i'm beginnning to wonder where my 3 readers disappeared to.

$400k+ for...

so this is where those AIG executives took a vacation on OUR dime: the st. regis resort and spa in monarch beach, california. now, i've spent a few nights at this place. back in the day, when wen'l was still working at neologic, the xmas festivities always took place at the st. reeeg. the only good thing i have to say about the place is that they had nice bath products (acqua di parma, to be exact). wait. one more good thing: their bars stock woodford reserve, my go-to bourbon.

anyhow, those execs, a week after we the people bailed their asses out to the tune of $85,000,000,000, flew to tacky-ass southern orange county and got spa treatments on us. ON US. motherfuckers need to pay us back and then find themselves applying for unemployment. no parachutes, golden or otherwise, for these assholes. they need to figure out how to pay their bills on $420 a week like the rest of us when we lose our jobs.

no babies smiled at me today!

god did tarjjjjjjjjjjjjay ever suck today. i had to get some tp, swiffer crap, and assorted other nonperishables. the parking lot was a zoo. i should have just gone on to the grocery store and gotten the tp (the only thing i was actually out of), but oh no! dipshit me had to find a spot and go inside. i don't know about your local poor people's french store, but mine is trying to conserve electricity by not keeping the thermostat turned down so low. add to that the humidity. for real, it's like a portly man's crotch around here lately. and, throw in a store packed with other sweaty motherfuckers. the back of my head was dripping when i finally got out.

somehow i managed to spend almost $75. i bought some swiffer wet doojies, the pads for the swiffer mop, 8 rolls of tp, granite countertop spray, stainless steel spray and dish soap. oh, and a copy of dwell. i love me some shelter mags. that's another story though.

we're so fucked. i've noticed that everything has gone up in price. just a bit, mind you, but a bit nonetheless. the same cart of shit cost me about $5 less a couple months ago, and i shop a lot. every fucking cart is costing me at least $5 more. add to that the truly obscene amount a tank of gas is costing me these days, and i bet i'm spending a good $300 a month more than i'd like to. mind you, i don't have any debt, but i'd like to be putting at least half the money i'm spending but not wanting to to better fucking use! savings, roth iras, whatever.

and... on a slightly unrelated subject... i'm still pissed at sen. obama. why does he have to be such a spineless wimp about this fisa shit? and why isn't it also frying his ass that it's poking far too many holes in the 4th amendment? i'd set up an automatic donation thingy that i had to undo because of that shit. i'm going to protest his dipshittery with my pocketbook. perhaps i'll throw some more $ at him when i calm down. even considering my current need to slap some sense into him, i realize he needs to get elected in november. no way can that old man with the cancer on the side of his face (cuz come on.. what IS that lump on the left side of his face?) get handed that job. i have a cousin who's already been to iraq that'll be back in country within the next couple weeks. his tour's sposed to be like 15 months. and now the iraqis themselves are saying there needs to be a timetable. the shit needs to be over with, and not yesterday. like 1897 yesterdays ago.

k, that's my rant for the week. i'll bb tomorrow with something more pleasant, k?

back!

i left yesterday saying i need to go gas the beast, etc...

so i'm at the arco on the corner of dale and ball and the place is packed. it's one of the more reasonably priced gas stations around, so it's really no surprise that i have to wait for a pump. my fellow patrons are all grumbling about how little gas they're getting for their $50 (13 gallons here, and i got the *regular* unleaded). they sounded a bit, uhh... i dunno... bitter?

i don't believe in guns or god, so i can't cling (oops, does that make me elitist?) to either of those things, but i'm glad i have my DH. i'm sure he's glad he's got me too. it's better being bitter with someone you love, you know?

another thing i'm bitter about: the arrival of our impending "stimulus package". i wish we weren't so dead crackers broke so i could donate about half of it to mr. obama. that seems about the biggest FUCK YOU statement i can make to the bushies and their ilk in re trying to buy me off with a check for $600.

but just like everyone else i know, i'll be spending that money on shit like rent and the electric bill, not making political contributions or paying for the 3 day weekend out of town wen'l and i could surely stand.

what will you, dear reader(s), be doing when you get stimulated?

blog for choice, 2007 edition

click on that button for more info.

i have a story to tell.. one that doesn't affect me personally, i suppose, but here goes:

sometime between the birth of my father in 1940 and the birth of his brother in 1949, my grandmother got pregnant. her übercontrolling husband forced her to have an abortion, which was still 30 years or so from being legal. abortionists who performed their services on the working-class woman of the 40's were not as scrupulous about certain things (like sterile operating conditions and aftercare) as they should have been, and the result was my grandma getting socked with a wicked dose of septicæmia. it almost killed her.

had they still been living out in corona, she probably would have died. they lived in long beach, and close to what was at the time a state of the art hospital, and she didn't.

i guess the story is personal. i would never have known my grandma, the only grandparent i actually got to know. my father would have been motherless from a very young age, and probably a whole lot more fucked up than he ended up being with the one parent who gave a fuck about him.

no woman, or girl, should have to go through what she went through. they should not have to risk their lives having surgery in someone's garage on pacific ave.

i have never been pregnant. i have been as diligent about contraception as is humanely possible to avoid having to make the choice to abort a pregnancy. no one ever had to tell me that what goes on inside my body is MY choice (and mine alone). it's something i just knew, and no one ever dared tell me i was wrong.

the day cannot come where those in possession of two x chromosomes do not have the choice to end a pregnancy for whatever reason they choose in a way that jeopardizes their health, their lives. if roe v wade were ever to be overturned, we would go back to the way things used to be... where if you had enough money, you flew to some less fucked up country and got a safe abortion; if you didn't, you either gave birth to a baby you didn't want, couldn't keep, or subjected yourself to the indignities my grandma had foisted upon her... indignities that almost cost her her life.

the next time she found herself in that position, she told my grandfather she'd sooner kill him than another one of her babies. may we all have the balls she did, and let it be known that we're the deciders.

sorry for the rant... but i cannot imagine a life that didn't include her.