22 October 2006

i snorted till i choked

President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church
outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his poll
standings. Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and
said to him "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the
president's position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Katrina, and
the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if
during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint." The Bishop
thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The Church is in
desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

Bush showed up for the sermon and the Bishop began:

"I'd like to speak to you all this morning about our President. George
Bush is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He took the
tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the
American people. He lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded
Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of tens of thousands and
making the United States the most hated country on earth."

"He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to
widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded
contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more
poverty in this country, and a greater gap between rich and poor, than
we've had since the Depression. He instituted illegal wiretaps when
getting a warrant from a secret court would have been a mere
administrative detail, had his henchmen lie to Congress about it, then
claimed he is above the law."

"He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since
Teapot Dome. The national surplus has turned into a staggering
national debt of $7.6 trillion, gas prices are up 85%, and vital
research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because
he's afraid to lose votes from some religious kooks. He is the worst
example of a true Christian I've ever known."

"But, compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, George Bush is a saint."

19 October 2006

whoa... i'm the only one

LogoThere is:
person with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

14 October 2006

welcome back bob?

so... my dad took off on a trip about 3 weeks after mom's funeral, to parts east. he was supposed to be back the 27th of last month. he's getting home today, probably around 3 this afternoon.

he spent over $10k on this little adventure, and only paid to put a roof over his head about 5 nights total. i have no idea how he spent so much.

you may be asking how i know how much he's blown. the dork put me in charge of paying his bills in his absence, that's how. in fact, i'll probably keep doing it once he's returned. he's not the most responsible motherfucker in the world, and i don't want to listen to him whine about being foreclosed upon because he forgot to pay his mortgage.

my mom left him in pretty good shape financially. a nicely loaded 401(k), other retirement savings, a portfolio too dependent upon mutual funds (and i have advised him to get out of those at his earliest convenience... i have problems with investment options which reserve the bulk of their earnings for the fund and for the financial *advisor*). life insurance. hell, even his social security benefits will increase.

he's been extremely foolish in re his spending since her death. a new pick'm up truck that he had to put new wheels and tires on and have lowered. he already had 2 cars, and still does actually. a harley-davidson... he had a motorcycle about 15 yrs ago... that he totaled in about 2 weeks. probably looking at some broad's ass and not paying attention to traffic. i would think his reflexes and shit have only diminished in the ensuing years. he has absolutely no business having a motorcycle now, at any rate. southern california traffic is far worse than it was then, and if he thinks he's going to be riding the damn contraption around here... i'm gonna have to put a good hurt on him.

anyhoo, i'm not going to itemize his spending. i haven't even gotten to the truly frightening stuff. suffice it to say, he's quite compulsive. my problem is this: how do i get him to understand that he needs to be thinking how to reduce his expenses, not add to them? i mean, the insurance alone on that stupid motorcycle is almost $1500 a year.

he's 65 years old. his health isn't the greatest, but he's not going to drop dead in a week, or a month, or even a year. he's gonna be destitute, and living under a bridge eating generic dog food if he's not careful though. he was never responsible for the financial shit (that was my mom), and he has absolutely no idea how much it costs to live here, even frugally.

i have no idea how to broach the subject with him. his tendency in matters such as this is to become defensive and accusatory, ie "you're trying to run my life!"

how is it that i tell him i'm worried about him, and his spending habits and make it perfectly clear that "running his life" is a responsibility i neither want nor need? how i'd rather not spend the rest of his life making sure he's not penniless and homeless? how i'd like it very much if he'd grow the fuck up already?

13 October 2006

friday the 13th

Turner New Zealand
650 Anton Blvd

Costa Mesa California 92626
Tel. 714.668.0880

Table 5 People 2
Waiter Richard J


1 Turner Lamb Chops - 19.00
1 Turner Venison Chop - 48.00
1 Turner Lob/Filet 6o - 59.00
1 Chocolate Souffle - 12.00
2 Coffee - 7.00
2 Manhattan - 16.00
1 Lemon Drop - 9.00

Sub-total: 170.00
Sales Tax: 13.18
Total Due: 183.18

Fuck it was good! I left a $50. tip even. Richard J took great care of us.

01 October 2006

meals away from home

hey... been in the midst of some home improvement projects the last week or so. we got granite countertops installed a couple months ago and the yellow paint that was in there looked so nauseating with them that i was finding it hard to muster the inspiration to cook. the countertops are a bit difficult to explain. the background i guess is white. there are gray and black dapples all over it, and the odd blob of taupe. the walls used to be this obnoxiously lemony yellow, which went fairly well with what was there.

because of my culinary difficulties, i decided i had to do something about it. so i bought 2 gallons of ralph lauren paint, a taupe shade called hopsack. perfect name for it btw. it's gonna look pretty damn tight in there when i finally get it finished.

of course, i couldn't just stop with the kitchen. it being all sweet was going to make everything around it look good and shitty, so i had to paint the laundry/mudroom area and the adjoining bathroom as well. all various intensities of the same shade.

anyhoo... i don't know if i've blogged about this restaurant wen'l and i have been going to for lunch the last couple months. it's called turner new zealand and i have been dropping about a bill for lunch + cocktails + tip. it's all organic and free-range and check out the damn website. i dare you to check out their menus. best damn beef, lamb and seafood i've ever had.

i just made a reservation for our first dinner there, for friday the 13th. we're celebrating it. dinner ought to set me back close to $200 and i don't mind a bit. i'm thinking of having the either the lamb porterhouse or the filet mignon and lobster. or perhaps the bouillabaise. who knows?

we've been eating dinner out a lot lately, and getting way too much takeout. it sux.

and... i have to find someplace new to have breakfast on saturdays. we usually go to cerritos and have breakfast at this place called mimi's cafe. it's right by the trader joe's and they have crab cakes benny, which totally rocks. however, i've been going a bit mental there lately, and i think i should avoid the place for awhile. see, it's where wen'l and i would go to take a breather from dealing with my mom, back when she was sick and even more so after we found out she was dying. i was actually crying yesterday morning, and it made me feel like a total ass.

bleh... god i'm rambling and i'm not even hi.