k.. once a week turned into 11 days

but here i am anyway. i have a bit of a buzz going, and i'm listening to green day. "minority" to be exact.

i want to be the minority
i don't need your authority
down with the moral majority
'cause i want to be the minority

well, i think i'm actually the majority these days, whether i want to be or not. our dear leader's poll numbers are hovering in the low-30's, no? that's the kool-aid drinkers. i so want to ask one of them what particular flavor it is. they scare me to death. how exactly is it that this small percentage of the actual population is so able to advance its agenda? they get the republicans in congress talking about all sorts of bullshit, near and dear only to them? gay marriage/adoption/who knows what else next. abortion. immigration.

the image of us abroad is that we're nosy, racist, insufferable pricks who like to wage unnecessary and unethical wars. i know i am none of those things. i couldn't think of denying someone the ability to have what i have, and i think being married is the most wonderful thing in the world. my marriage is not threatened by anything outside of it, and certainly not by a same-sex couple being married. as far as immigration goes, we are fucking here because of immigrants. i suppose since we don't need italian masons to build our churches and the sons of irishmen to patrol our streets anymore that we won't take whoever comes here, in droves.

i love my country and i am shamed by it. i am shamed by the fact that the busybodies who feel they have to repress every *wicked* sexual urge they have; who have to keep my favorite intoxicant illegal because they have no idea how to use anything without binging on it; who are afraid to live and afraid to die are the ones who get to set this country's course.

and how they think they're any damn different than the theocracies in the middle east is completely beyond me.

i so suck

been a nasty couple months, kids. mom's home from the hospital but taking care of her and sundry are eating up a significant chunk of my time. what little time i've had to actually have a life, i've tried to have one. my husband has been an absolute rock during this whole mess.

she's getting better, but slowly. i think her improvement was more impressive when she was still at the rehab hospital. she was doing pt and had knowledgable staff round the clock. i feel like we're all winging it in a way out here in the real world. i was sort of put in charge of providing her food (no surprise, eh?). it's been basic but healthy fare, good protein and plenty of vitamins, etc. also, i've had to keep a pretty sharp eye on her sodium intake, because of the chf. i've kinda figured out how to give her a bit of a splurge once in awhile even.

i've been doing an italian feast every sunday night, for the sopranos. the stuffed shells with arrabbiata have been my favorite thus far, and i'll post the recipe for that soon.

i'm gonna feel like a total old lady for saying this, but.. i have sciatica. it's made taking care of ma and doing all this standing up cooking a real fuckin treat, lemme tell ya. i really do need to get serious about doing my p.t. i've got a very understanding doc, and she's made sure i'll have a steady stream of meds. i also need to get real about getting rid of some girth. cooking all healthy for mom has at the very least knocked off close to 10, but there's a whole lot more i could be doing.

ppl are telling me i need to work out just so i'll have the pep to do what i need to. perhaps i should. i have an mp3 player and i could squeak outta momsitting for an hour i'm sure.

and, i am going to make it a habit to post at least once a week. this 2 months away shit sucks balls.

heh... i'm a couple hrs early

well well well kids... by the time you're reading this, it's st. patrick's day, the one day of the year we all get to be irish.

i don't know what your plans are for the day, but i know mine don't include making corned beef and cabbage. it's not irish! if you want to have an authentic irish dinner, i suggest having a liquid meal of several pints of guinness. :)


mom's in a rehab hospital out in orange now. she's doing a lot better. she's getting occupational and physical therapy, and i'm very impressed with the facility and its staff. thanks for all the good thoughts, gentle readers. it's been a tough couple weeks for all of us, but she's out of the woods now and your support has meant the world to me.

anyhoo, i'll write more later. after i've had my *authentic* irish dinner. *snort*

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after a 21 month long absence, they're back!

i'm cooking a big meal for the occasion, lasagne alla napoletana. lotta steps involved in making it, but omg, it's sooooo worth it.

so, w/o further ado:

ragu napoletano

¼ c olive oil
1 lb boneless pork shoulder, cut into chunks
1 lb beef chuck, cut into chunks
salt and pepper
1 red onion, finely chopped
¾ c dry red wine
2 28 oz cans san marzano tomatoes, with their juices, passed thru a food mill
8 oz sweet italian sausage
pinch hot red pepper flakes

in large dutch oven, heat olive oik over medium heat till smoking. season the pork and beef with salt and pepper and sear in batches till dark golden brown. transfer to a plate.

add the onion to the pot and saute, scraping the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon to loosen any brown bits, until golden brown and very soft, about 10mins. add the wine and browned meat chunks, tomatoes, sausages and red pepper flakes and bring just to a boil. reduce heat to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, for 2½ to 3 hrs. remove from heat, remove the meats and sausages, and set aside. adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper and allow to cool.

polpette alla napoletana

3 c day old bread, cut into 1" cubes
1¼ lb ground beef
3 eggs, beaten
3 cloves garlic, minced
¾ c freshly grated pecorino romano
¼ c finely chopped italian parsley
¼ c pignolias, toasted
½ t salt
½ t pepper
¼ c olive oil

in a shallow bowl, soak the bread cubes in water to cover for 20 mins. drain the bread cubes ans squeeze out the excess moisture.
in a large bowl, combine the beef, bread, eggs, pecorino, parsley, pine nuts, garlic, salt and pepper and mix until just blended. with wet hands, form the mixture into 12-15 large meatballs.
in a large, heavy bottomed skillet, heat the olive oil over med-hi heat until almost smoking. add the meatballs, working in batches, and cook, turning occasionally, until deep golden brown on all sides, about 10 mins per batch.

lasagne alla napoletana

1 lb dried lasagna, cooked and cooled enough to handle
2 T olive oil
RAGU NAPOLETANO, sausages sliced ¼-½" thick, meats reserved for another use
3 c ricotta (whole milk please!)
POLPETTE, cut in half
1 c freshly grated parmigiano-reggiano
1 lb mozzarella di bufala campagna, cut into ½" dice
preheat oven to 350°. assemble lasagne in 9x13x4" dish. spread ½ c ragu over the bottom of the dish, then top with a layer of pasta, a layer of ricotta, a layer of polpette and sausage, and a layer of parmigiano. continue thusly till you run out of ingredients. top with the mozzarella.
bake 1 hr and 15 mins. let rest 15-30 mins before serving.

umm...

i've made some decent food lately. i'll have an assload of recipes to post here as soon as i get em typed up.

i'm even cooking tonight. some lovely clam chowdah cuz it's all icky and gray and fixing to rain, but my mind's not really on it, and my heart is certainly not in it.

my mom's in the hospital with a host of problems... supraventricular tachycardia, congestive heart failure, and a bedsore so heinous it's going to require surgery. she's been in a week, and none of those problems have been brought under control thus far.

back in january she had a heart attack, complete with cardiac arrest. she was having chest pains. they came and went. she had my dad take her to the emergency room, only to turn him around when they let up. they were back before they got there though, so my dad turned around and headed back to the e.r. she infarcted in triage.

what's scary is she looked a lot better the night she had the heart attack than she does right now. she's gotten much weaker and she looks like she's given up hope. i don't think she's had more than an hour of sleep in one stretch in the week she's been there.

i feel helpless in a way i didn't know was possible. i don't work outside the home, and there's only so much housework and laundry and errands to do in a day. i have way too much time on my hands to worry about her. i'd like to go upside the head of her doctor... not for what's going on with her heart, they're doing everything they can for her, and their options are somewhat limited by her poor health. it's that someone allegedly ordered an air mattress for her 4 days ago, for the bedsore, and it's yet to show up.

i don't have an m.d. but i do know she'd be better off if she could get some fucking sleep! i've bitched at the appropriate parties and NOTHING has changed.


if you, gentle reader, are the praying kind, say one for my mom? i know i don't *believe*, but she does.

re: *cranking a blaster*

Freethinker said: Your blog should have "Smell-o-vision" installed ... but NOT for this post!
12:04 PM

yes, my blog SHOULD have smell-o-vision... but then y'all would have my weight problem too. i eat like royalty and have the figure to prove it. *lol*



Eden said: you should know I come and look at this photo a little too often
2:31 PM

umm... that's kinda scary Eden. i know your feelings about the shrub are similar to mine, and, well... i don't think i ever need to look at that pic again. not only cuz it's fairly obvious that chimpy is rippin a fluffy one, but because of the look on his cunty wife's face. i always suspected laura was a bitch, but when i first saw that pic, i knew the rigamarole about men wanting to marry mommy might be true.


i have something scary of my own to add, however. one night, after eating like royalty, i was sitting out on the porch with Wen'l having a smoke. needing to fart in the worst way. sooo... i did the guy thing and lifted an ass cheek and out it came!

that's not the scary part tho. the scary part is that i felt like i'd been cheated. that the whole lifting one side of one's ass trick was handed down from fathers to sons, and to hell with the daughters. somehow we had it in our heads that they were making a big production out of their flatulence, and we suffered needlessly in our ignorance.

last night i was having another smoke on the porch with Wen'l, and i said this: "if i ever had a daughter, i'd teach her the fart trick." and i would, just as soon as she was able to comprehend.

NOOoooOOOoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Associated Press
Updated 5:50 p.m. ET Feb. 28, 2006

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - The Boondocks, the black comic-strip family living in white suburbia, are going on vacation.

Aaron McGruder, the cartoonist behind the strip syndicated in about 350 American newspapers, said Tuesday he would take about six months off beginning in March.


wtF? he's going on vacation?!?

forever roasted pork...

... courtesy of michael chiarello and mario batali.

the lasagna pan on the left is the part courtesy of mario batali, and you can find it @ http://www.italiankitchen.com/store/site/product.cfm?id=AFBB2CD4-475A-BAC0-51D3BD90D967DC71&fid=AFBB2CE4-475A-BAC0-573F6A92411FF8A4



the recipe is the part courtesy of michael chiarello. don't it look too scrumptious for words? my husband cooked it. i only dealt with the sides tonight. i just wanted to share because pork shoulder is a very economical piece of meat, and if it's cooked properly, it is the most succulent, delicious thing you'll ever eat.

anyone from the south who's had pulled pork knows what i'm talking about.

anyhow, you could serve this with any sort of green veg and just about any kind of starchy side dish... polenta, gnocchi, roasted potatoes... you name it, it would probably work well with this pork.

so, without further ado, here's the recipe:


4 pounds pork shoulder, butt end, boneless (have your butcher bone it for you if you're not sure of your butchering skills)
2 T extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
2 medium onions, thinly sliced
1½ t finely chopped fresh sage leaves
gray salt and freshly ground black pepper
about ¼ c fennel spice, recipe follows

bring pork to room temperature by removing it from refrigerator 1 to 2 hours before cooking.
preheat the oven to 275°F.

heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat until hot. add the onions, cover pan, reduce the heat to medium-low and cook until light brown. be patient, and don't turn up the heat. add the sage and season with salt and pepper. cook until the onions cease throwing off water, about 3 minutes. remove from heat, allow to cool on plate.

open up the pork roast and spread a good amount of the fennel spice and add the onions directly to the middle of the roast. fold the roast back over the onions and tie closed with kitchen string. season well all over with the remaining fennel spice.

arrange the meat in the lasagna pan, drizzle with more olive oil and cook until the meat is very tender, about 8 hours. it is ready when it pulls away easily if picked at with a pair of tongs. it is often easiest to cook the meat overnight, or put it in the oven in the morning and let it cook all day. it does not need to be attended. you'll want to, because it will smell so good you won't be able to keep your face out of it, but it really requires no more work at this point.

fennel spice rub:

1 c fennel seeds
3 T coriander seeds
2 T white peppercorns
3 T kosher salt

put the fennel seeds, coriander seeds, and peppercorns in a heavy pan over medium heat. watch carefully, tossing frequently so the seeds toast evenly. when light brown and fragrant, pour the seeds onto a plate to cool. they must be cool before grinding, or they will gum up the blades if you use a coffee grinder. if you're truly patient though, you could use a mortar and pestle.
pour the seeds into the coffee grinder and add the salt. grind to a fine powder, shaking the grinder occasionally to redistribute the seeds. store in a tightly sealed glass jar in a cool, dry place, or freeze.
yield: about 1¼ cups

i suck, yo!

4 slices bacon, cut into ¾" pieces
1 large onion, finely chopped
1 T unsalted butter
2 t ground cumin
3 T all-purpose flour
4 c chicken stock
1 large potato, peeled and cut into ¼" dice
½ c heavy cream
10 oz package frozen corn kernels
½ lb sharp cheddar, grated
pepper and salt (if necessary)


cook bacon in a 3 quart heavy saucepan over moderate heat, stirring, until crisp and transfer with a slotted spoon to paper towels to drain.

add onion and butter to fat in pan and cook, stirring, until onion is softened. add cumin and cook, stirring, 1 minute. add flour and cook, stirring, 1 minute. whisk in broth and bring to a boil, whisking occasionally. add potato and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally, until just tender, 8 minutes. stir in cream and corn and return to a simmer. add cheddar, stirring just until cheese is melted (do not let boil), and season generously with pepper.

serve topped with bacon.


i'm serving with grilled cheese sandwiches... extra sharp cheddar on english muffin bread from trader joe's.
should be yummy. :)

happy valentine's day kids!

so... tom cruise, of jump the couch infamy, and katie holmes have allegedly bitten the dust.

she remembered which louis vuitton or kooba bag she stashed her brain in, i say.


anyhoo, i sit here @ 3:14 pm with lunch for my husband's entire office in the oven. well, the entire office minus the owner, who had back surgery last week. asian-style braised short ribs (recipe to follow), jasmine rice, and assorted asian-style veggies in a soy sauce-based glaze.

i have to do the short ribs in shifts.

here's the recipe:

5 pounds beef short ribs, cut into 4-ounce portions
1 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
6+ cloves garlic, peeled and smashed (i usually put in about 9)
1 (5-inch) stalk lemongrass, halved and smashed (be careful and use a very sharp knife)
1 tablespoon peeled and minced ginger
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 quart water
1/2 cup sliced green onion bottoms, white part only
3/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/2 cup fresh blood orange juice
1/4 cup hoisin sauce
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons finely grated blood orange zest, for serving (you DO have a microplane, no?)
sliced green onion tops, optional for garnish

preheat the oven to 350°. in a wide stockpot or dutch oven, combine the short ribs, soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, lemongrass, ginger, brown sugar, water, green onion bottoms, crushed red pepper, and ¼ c of the orange juice. make sure that the stockpot is deep enough so that the short ribs are submerged in the liquid. bake the short ribs, covered, for about 3 hours, or until the meat is tender and falling off the bones.

remove the short ribs from the braising liquid and cover to keep warm. increase the oven temperature to 425°. drain the fat off of the cooking liquid and discard. place the remaining braising juices in a medium saucepan with ¼ cup of the hoisin sauce and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. reduce the liquid until only about 1¼ cups remain. strain through a fine-meshed strainer, discarding the solids.

stir in the remaining 2 T of orange juice and the lemon juice. return the short ribs and the reduced sauce to the stockpot or dutch oven, coating the short ribs well with the sauce. bake for 15 minutes, until the short ribs are heated through and slightly glazed.

serve hot over jasmine rice. season each portion with the orange zest and garnish with the green onions if desired.



and remember... guns don't shoot people... vice presidents shoot people!

*cranking a blaster*

i ganked this pic and the title of this post from http://swilltopower.blogspot.com/, but the pic was
also on the front page of the los angeles times...

look closely at the shrub...

"goddammit george, you can't fart at her funeral!"

a recipe for laine

k, the other night i made what i called chicken marsala ravioli for dinner. to perfectly recreate the meal i made, one would need to be a member of costco. i got the ravioli already made. grilled chicken and mozzarella (the fresh kind even). however, any sort of fresh chicken-filled ravioli or tortelloni would work.

what i did was create the sauce.

i put a gallon of water on to boil. while it was getting hot, i assembled the sauce:

i sauteed a pound of sliced button mushrooms (i'd have gotten at least half criminis cept they looked like shit that day @ the supermercado) in 2 T of butter and 1 T of olive oil in the biggest pan i have. it's 14", and remember, i'm one of those übersnobs who normally cooks with extra-virgin. i'm with mario batali on that one. i didn't salt and pepper them till they were almost done. you're looking for good, even caramelization before anything else goes in. i also minced up 4 cloves of garlic and added it with the s&p.

when the water boils, add 2-3 T of salt to the water and cook your pasta according to pkg. directions.

i used a big slotted gizmo to remove them from the pan, and poured in ½ cup of marsala. i used sweet, but dry would work too. i scraped up anything that might have stuck and over med-hi heat, reduced it to a thick syrup. then i added about 1 cup of chicken stock. out of a box. *lol* let that reduce by about half. then add a pint of cream. stir frequently over med-hi heat till the sauce reduces enough to coat the back of a spoon.

add the now-cooked pasta to the sauce, and lower heat. allow to cook over your lowest low heat about 5 mins.

i served it with some blanched haricots verts that i tossed in a couple tablespoons of unsalted parma butter.

it was a most excellent meal.



i'm gonna do a roasted and glazed pork tenderloin, roasted asparagus and risotto for dinner tonite.

i'll post that stuff too.

you must check this out!

the 50 most loathsome people of 2005.click the title of this post for the url.

i found a link to this @ http://heyjennyslater.blogspot.com.

my husband wondered how it got narrowed to 50. that i don't know... what i do know is all 50 of those mofos belong on the list.

yes i know...

it's feast or famine with me, ain't it?

i'm cooking tonight. something i think is going to turn out just delicious. i got some ravioli stuffed with grilled chicken and cheese and various herbs and i'm making a marsala sauce with mushrooms and wot not. gonna serve it with some sauteed haricots verts in a shallot/sauvignon blanc reduction.

yes, i know... dinner will get me drunk.

i'll post the recipes when i know for sure dinner was a success.

learn to swim!

you know... all one would need to do to stay in shape is try to play "ænima" by tool on drums once a day.

some say a comet will fall from the sky
followed by meteor showers and tidal waves
followed by fault lines that cannot sit still
followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits
and some say the end is near
some say we'll see armageddon soon
i certainly hope they will
i sure could use a vacation

cuz all i'd think about is how some people in this country, no in this fucking world, feel the need to ram their religion down my throat. down anyone's throat. i have but one thing to say to people like that. anyone who feels the need to hold himself up as a paragon of his particular mythology probably isn't such a good example of it.

and those fucking biblethumping wingnut christians in this country? the man they purport to worship was a communist. probably one of the purest examples of communism ever. how they've allowed themselves to get so wound up about gay marriage and abortion i'll never know. i don't think those would have been huge concerns of his in a world where people still starve and fall ill, and die in vain for the financial bottom line of the obscenely rich.

am i wrong about WWJD?

:(

i am the world's worst blogger. i will have something new for y'all shortly.

hope everyone had a lovely late december. i'm still so pissed at all those fox news types that i can't even say *holidays* anymore.

more soon i promise!

happy thxgiving kids!

i know i shouldn't be so thankful when our president makes an ass of himself. it's #19 on my list of things to be thankful for though.

have a good one everyone and remember... if you're going to mow on the turkey, designate a driver!

pic courtesy of http://socialitelife.com

i'm the undisputed queen of chicken stock, yo!

yes kids, you know it's that time of year when i break out the biggest stock pot i have and, well... make the whole house reek of thanksgiving. i'm sure the recipe is somewhere on my blog, but i'll post it again:

4 lb chicken backs, wings, or other parts that are as bony as they are meaty
3 med onions, quartered
4 ribs celery, roughly chopped
4 carrots, roughly chopped
4-5 intact garlic cloves
10 sprigs fresh thyme
good handful italian parsley
2 bay leaves
10-20 whole peppercorns

put all ingredients in the largest pot you have and cover to 1" deep with COLD water. cover pot and place over medium heat just until bubbles break the surface. remove lid and lower heat to low. you don't want it to ever cook any harder than bubbles breaking the surface. cook 8 hrs and remove the chunks with a spider or other straining utensil and then pour through the finest strainer you have into a very large bowl. it will remove the herby bits and whatever scuzz might still be lingering in the stock. place bowl containing stock into an ice bath and cool until the stock begins to take on a jello-like consistency.

using a ladle, fill large ziploc bags with the stock and freeze till needed.


tomorrow... tips on making the best pumpkin pie ever!

i just saw the word boob used as a verb

as in... *ms. x just administered a drive-by boobing of señor y*

ha!

anyhoo... busy day today... makin a grip of chicken stock for next thursday. the house just reeks of thanksgiving.

heard from someone for the first time today, thru a comment i left on someone else's blog. there's a new comment down at the entry about the ichthys n'chips car plaque? i should just go ahead and post the url for it while i'm thinkin about it. click the title of this post to visit the site that's sellin em.

i'll post more later. some tips for quality entertaining and menu suggestions for the big meal!

my first...

one year ago today, i gave and received one of these. yes kids, it's our first anniversary. the traditional gift for the first anniversary is paper... o yes, kids, my favorite kind of gift! the kind that folds! i will, upon request, provide an address for you to send any lovely, foldable gifts. :)

anyhoo... getting married was without a doubt the smartest thing i ever did. wen'l has been the absolute best husband. he rubs my feet whenever i ask, he doesn't give me shit about my continued unemployment... i could go on for days.

i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart mr. sexson. thank you for accepting my proposal, thank you for marrying me that windy november day, thank you for cooking your great big heart out 2 days later so our friends and family could join in our celebration.

thank you most of all for your patience and understanding. you're the best husband a girl could ever hope for. happy anniversary baby.

*smooches and hugs and wotnot*