20 January 2005

fuck tha dmv!

gawd... keep yer wallets on leashes kids. i lost mine about a week and a half ago, and had to cancel the bank cards and all that bs... and then i discovered that in the fine state of california, one has to make an appointment at the dmv to get a replacement driver's license. that's right campers, an appointment, and the earliest one i could get was for this afternoon @ 1:50. i wanted to ask someone if that meant the state was going to condone me driving around with no license in the meantime, but there was no one to ask. the state department of motor vehicles prefers the appointment be made via their website.

so i arrive at the fullerton dmv office 15 mins early, tell the knuckledragger at the START HERE counter i have a 1:50 appointment. he hands me the appropriate form to fill out and a "randomly generated" number. G241. i don't think anything of it and find a spot to fill out my paperwork. after that, i take a seat, fully confident my number will be called at 1:50. A197. A198. F203. F204. J013. J014. G229. i'm sure, faithful reader, that you can figure this out. i'm in for a long wait, and if i'd known, i would have brought something to read. instead, i had to make do with the "state of california driver's handbook", a delightful read if ever there was one.

and... i've come to the sad conclusion that most of the people i share the highways and byways of the fine state of california with have absolutely no business driving. if they can't figure out the form for a driver's license (be it a new license, a name or address change, or a replacement license like me) when it's printed in like 45 different languages, well... they haven't the intellect to operate heavy machinery, and that's what a car is, even a small one.

so they finally announce my number... window 14 plz! "you got any id? your old driver's license maybe?" the numbnuts behind the counter asks. hello?! i'm here to get a replacement driver's license! i checked the applicable box on my form! and no, i don't have my old one... yer hard-working colleague at the long beach dmv confiscated it the last time i renewed it! so she had to have her cubicle mate look up my cdl #. apparently she didn't know how. *rme*

so... finally, everything is copacetic. i give the troglodyte my $20, and go get fingerprinted and photographed, and atfuckinglast, i get to leave. i noticed the cars in the parking lot on my way out... most of them had dents and dings and broken windows and stuff. i chuckled.

i've never had an accident.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'll get you a nice chain fer yer wallet, baby. I love you. wen'l