long beach palms @ sunset
i've decided i want to live in bluff heights over in long beach. it's a neighborhood about 1 sq mi in size, and leafy and full of craftsman bungaloes. wen'l and i looked at a place over there this afternoon, and i'm still swooning but trying to tell myself that i'm not going to get it. i think my not working doesn't look real good, and unfortunately i don't have the time to also find a job.
it's hard out there. our choice of neighborhoods is pretty much limited to the southeastern part of town, right along the ocean. the rents on places i've looked at range from $975 to $1500. the low end of that is because i stupidly started my search looking for a 1 bedroom place. i've pretty much come to the conclusion since that we kinda have to have a 2 bedroom. several have greatly exceeded my expectations, but all but 2 were the 1 bedrooms i started with. tiny tiny places with all the period architecture one would expect in this part of town. the floors in a couple of them have just taken my breath away. heart pine makes me swoon.
anyway, it's gonna be a task and ½ to find a place i'm afraid. and then we have to pass muster thru the financial portion of the enterprise. salaries are pretty high around these parts. having 2 in the household would definitely be preferable. neither of us has the best credit in the world (you try being unemployed for a couple years sometimes. it sucks worse than anything short of losing someone close to you.) certain things will become luxuries, and that's alright with me. and, i'm finally gonna quit smoking. no one will allow you to smoke inside the property anymore, and if i were unlazy enough to go outside to smoke now, i'd be doing it.
we all know how badly i need to quit. i need lots of fresh starts, namely a semi-estrangement of indeterminate length with my father. it will be very good for me to not have to deal with him anymore. he's moving to arizona allegedly, and that's more miles than i'd drive to visit him.
the thing i don't quite have figured out yet is if i'd go any more often if my mom was still alive and making this move. i can't quite get over being angry with her. all the crap she allowed to go unchecked with boberto that's currently biting me on the ass. the man has no idea how to pay his bills. checks will be bouncing, things will be late.. i don't think i'm the only person in the world who taught herself to be financially responsible (which is currently also biting me in the ass... my credit problems are not having enough of it. i don't believe in credit cards, but that's another story...). i just figured if i couldn't pay cash for something, i didn't need it.
i live pretty well, but i live well within my means. my grandma and my aunt gripe are the only 2 people i know of on that side of the family that have any sort of grasp on that concept.
fuck... well i feel better having gotten some shit off my chest, but i think it's time to go watch some tivo and have a cocktail. boylan's sugar cane cola (remember what coke was like back in the day? it's like that.) and cruzan estate dark rum. life is too fucking short to drink cheap booze.