the winters are gonna kill him if i don't first

so i inform my father, henceforth the fucktard, that i know of his plans to move to michigan. he wants to know who i heard it from. what does it matter who i heard it from? you trying to remember what story you told to whom? my brother, dipshit. were ya lying to him too?

look, at this point, i'm glad. i don't ever have to deal with the prick again if this what he's doing. but... and this is a huge but: my grandma (his mother, for fuck's sake) is almost 90. she doesn't remember what day of the week it is anymore, and she's not remembering to take her meds. which means her life is in more jeopardy than we can allow to continue. she cannot live alone any longer. he should be a part of getting her to accept this. she thinks my aunt is malicious (she's not. she's definitely not). she's not accepting my being part of her care. i go over there to check her meds, see if she needs anything from the store, give her some company. all she's been doing lately is nursing 30 year old grudges she has with people. it's hard to just sit there and listen to it. i do, but it's no fucking picnic.

and when i tell her she needs to be better about taking her pills, and that she'd feel better if she would, she shines me on. she, all on her own, stopped taking one of her blood pressure meds. strokes run in her family. is she trying to court one? she has long since been claiming to want to die already.

like i really want to hear that. ME. my mom ain't been gone a year yet. but then i think: maybe things really are that bad. she's almost blind and practically deaf and she's had so much death for so very long. she wants to hang in till she's 90. her life insurance doubles when she's 90, and she says she's too mean to die.

she's not. back in the day she was the best grandma a kid could hope for. she took us kids to disneyland and went on all the rides with us. she'd take us out to her place in the desert and it was always a blast. since my cousin stephen died, it's all been downhill. she was still independent, still took good care of herself. but she got so bitter, and she never recovered.

and her dipshit, fucktard son thinks she's doin ok.

he'll be back in the state eventually. he's got some shit to do for his future welfare that he can only do here, in person. i think the line to kick his ass will be quite long.