13 July 2006

life 2 hrs at a time

that's an accurate description of mine lately. my mom's getting soo very close now.. close enough that she's asking how long it's going to take and apologizing for taking so long. talk about having your heart pulled still beating from your chest.

anyway, i'm going to have to go move her in a few. i just wanted to vent or bawl or something. i've got to have it all sucked up by the time i go move her though. it would kill me to have her see it or hear it in my voice that what she's going through is more than i can handle. she needs to be able to let go of this world... the least i can do is not make her worry and think she needs to hang around.

i haven't quite caved under the weight of it yet. i've got a wonderful husband, and my dad and brother and i are rallying around each other and around her. i think it helps. also, there has been help. mom's family is all gone home now, but my dad's sister has really stepped up the plate.

i'm not going to bore you with the details of an impending death. she's knocking, if you know what i mean.

i've asked for it before, and i'll ask for it again. whatever you pray to, if you do, mention my mom...

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