my bad.

yeah, i know... i suck.

but fuckit. this blog is still here, and i haven't posted in like 2 months. been a crap couple of months. my grandma died 3 weeks ago, and i'm smoking again. i need to get my head right and quit that filthy fucking habit before it costs me anymore money. it's already cost me my ability to smoke my big, beautiful bong comfortably. being a returning member of the no-lung clan sucks all conceivable ass, you know?

so. the weather is incredible today. i think the high was about 75°. sunny. a little smoggy too, but given how ache-free i feel i am not going to bitch. that's another thing that chaps my ass. i'm not exactly old, but i'm old enough to ache all fucking over when it's cold and damp. add that to the seasonal affective disorder my mom saw fit to pass on to me, and i fucking hate winter. but the days are getting longer, and when the weather is like this, i feel 10 years younger. i bet i'd feel awesome if i weighed what i did back then.

so that's my next project. i want to get down to what i weighed when i was 31. one thing i know for sure is that i am not going to be able to lose weight just by altering my diet anymore. yeah, another example of getting older sucking... my metabolism took a big shit all over itself when i turned 40, and then it did it again when i quit smoking. i am huffing away again and i've noticed my clothes getting a little looser on me. which means to lose weight while being a non-smoker is going to involve lots of fucking exercise.

i actually should weigh less than i did 10 years ago, but perhaps it won't seem so daunting if i break it up into smaller goals.