fucked in california

my bad.

2010-02-13T16:21:00.000-08:00

yeah, i know... i suck.

but fuckit. this blog is still here, and i haven't posted in like 2 months. been a crap couple of months. my grandma died 3 weeks ago, and i'm smoking again. i need to get my head right and quit that filthy fucking habit before it costs me anymore money. it's already cost me my ability to smoke my big, beautiful bong comfortably. being a returning member of the no-lung clan sucks all conceivable ass, you know?

so. the weather is incredible today. i think the high was about 75°. sunny. a little smoggy too, but given how ache-free i feel i am not going to bitch. that's another thing that chaps my ass. i'm not exactly old, but i'm old enough to ache all fucking over when it's cold and damp. add that to the seasonal affective disorder my mom saw fit to pass on to me, and i fucking hate winter. but the days are getting longer, and when the weather is like this, i feel 10 years younger. i bet i'd feel awesome if i weighed what i did back then.

so that's my next project. i want to get down to what i weighed when i was 31. one thing i know for sure is that i am not going to be able to lose weight just by altering my diet anymore. yeah, another example of getting older sucking... my metabolism took a big shit all over itself when i turned 40, and then it did it again when i quit smoking. i am huffing away again and i've noticed my clothes getting a little looser on me. which means to lose weight while being a non-smoker is going to involve lots of fucking exercise.

i actually should weigh less than i did 10 years ago, but perhaps it won't seem so daunting if i break it up into smaller goals.

tap tap

2009-12-11T13:49:00.001-08:00

is this thing still on?

so it's a dreary, cloudy, wishitwouldfuckingrainalready kind of day. that means i'm listening to primarily british music, typically sung by tenors with a penchant for falsetto. i think listening to music like this is actually the reason i don't lose my shit on days like this.

see, i'm one of those dipshits that doesn't do well without lots of sunlight. it's totally genetic btw. anyhow, today is not the natural state of things here in california. here, even when it's "cold" (and before ya get all in a snit, i've felt wind chills in the 20's right here in greater los angeles) it's usually sunny. we get a lot more sunlight here than most people. konagod said austin gets all "seattley" in the winter. i've been in seattle in the winter. it's just like it is here today.

ahh. an american. but one with an amazing voice. cee-lo green. and fuckit. i'm going to listen to this whole album. "st. elsewhere" . if you don't have it you should be ashamed of yourself. too many people made out like "crazy" was all this band had to say. and granted, that song is perfection.. but it's not even my favorite song on the record.

you see, everybody is somebody
but nobody wants to be themselves
and if i ever wanted to understand me
i have to talk to someone else

anyhoo, i have some shit i need to get done while we're getting a break from the rain, so i'm out.

short 4 teeth

2009-09-11T17:35:00.000-07:00

i do not miss my 3rd molars. i had them yanked a week ago. i still have vicodin left. the oral surgeon gave me 16. i hit them pretty hard for a couple days, and i haven't had one since wednesday at this point.

i also found out i really kinda like being knocked out on purpose. i got 2 drugs, i.v. versed and fentanyl. i don't remember going under. i came to about 10 minutes before it was over, and i didn't give a shit. of course, i couldn't feel a thing anyway. they shot me up like a motherfuck with novacaine too. that wearing off was the shittiest thing about the whole experience.

i think i'm healing up really well. i got some stitches, that i think have dissolved by now. i can't feel them anymore, anyway. i wonder how much easier this would have gone when they started to come in. i was 28 when i got my wisdom teeth. i *barely* had the room for them. the upper 2 were in sad fuckin shape, and they had to go. the bottom 2 never fully erupted, and they'd been a bitch in their own way the whole time.

i had insurance then. i haven't had insurance for just over 2 years now. the insurance i did have denied the claim i submitted to have this done 3½ years ago. o, they were pathological alright. i saw them. i praise the flying spaghetti monster that my other 28 teeth are in fine shape.

anyhoo, something has occurred to me: wen'l and i are doing some very serious investigating into moving to australia. like, immigration policy has been well-researched. the employment situation has been looked into. their pm has made some moves which are encouraging, like adding a certain number of green jobs. wen'ls skill set is rather unique. there aren't enough people already there to handle the increased work load.

sorry for rambling, but i'm waaaaaaaaay hi. i've become a much cheaper date in the ganj dept. the thing that's occurred to me is this: i have to write a book and get it published before we get out of here. i need to do this so i can have a wee book tour and meet a few peeps i've come across on my virtual travels. it'd be sweet getting to do it on someone else's dime, too.

k i gotta bounce.

isn't she purdy?

2009-08-15T17:55:00.001-07:00

got this for wen'l. eventually we won't be living with my bro anymore. when that happens, wen'l would have been w/o a guitar. the one he's been playing belongs to my brother, see? it was our late cousin stephen's axe.

couldn't have wen'l be w/o a guitar. so, while i knew money was ok, i went ahead and bought one.

and yes, that's the back of my head. lol

another thing...

2009-07-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

they're predicting 20' surf at the wedge later this week. all south facing beaches are going to have large surf. i might have to go have a look.

scratch that

2009-07-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

well, fuck me dead. please disregard my last post.

the house is in foreclosure. not because of anything i did, mind you. my dad has a heloc on this place. he hasn't made a payment on it since last october. so, the bofa said enough is enough. understandable, right?

thing is, we didn't find out from him. we found out because wen'l decided to open a piece of mail marked "resident". i never open that shit. it's how we found out about this foreclosure. my dad probably wouldn't have told us about it until we had a week to be out of here, and i'd have kept paying the goddamned mortgage in the meantime.

the real kicker, however, is this - he's declared bankruptcy. he had to borrow the money from my brother to do it. my mother left him about $400k when she died, three years ago today. add the aforementioned heloc, and he's burned through approximately $450k in those three years, plus fuck knows how much more debt that i have no idea about. she also left him the sole owner of this house, which at the time she died probably would have sold for about $600k. if he'd sold it then, and he knew he was going to move to michigan before she died probably, he'd have walked with about $350k.

i praise the fsm that i didn't get his head for $. my brother got a wee bit of his impulsiveness, but it hasn't cost him anything, really. and i definitely didn't get it. i drive a 13 year old car with 134,000 miles on it. i've babied it its whole life, and *knocking wood* i'll get a few more years out of it. i'd like to pay cash for my next car, or at least have a huge down payment and get the thing paid off in like 2 years.

the bankruptcy could potentially buy us some more time in this house. i need to somehow impress it upon my father that he needs to let things drag out a bit. it could potentially be a year (well, a year from 06.29.09 anyway), with me paying no mortgage. i'd be sitting on a pile from that. moving would be painless and i'd have a nice rainy day fund AND a high def tv. so keep your fingers crossed, k?

speaking of electronics, wen'l cashed in his cisco rewards points on a ps3. :D not even all of them, actually. the next "purchase" will be a nikon digital slr. i cannot wait.

another round of home improvement

2009-07-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

so i've decided to undertake some projects around the house. i don't even own this dump and lord the work i've done on it! anyway, i'm going to paint the bedroom. the amount of light that room gets is just insane for most of the day, and while the room is pretty small, i'm going dark on the walls. i mean really dark. i bought paint today. a valspar color called *crucible*. i'm hoping that it will suck up all the light in that room and make it easier to be in there. plus, it'll look really rich on the walls. i love what dark, zero sheen paint looks like.

i'll get that done this week, and then next weekend i'll get the trim and ceiling (and closet! it needs it bad!) done.

and then even more painting!

lately

2009-07-02T12:30:00.001-07:00

so i've been listening to a lot of oingo boingo lately."wild sex (in the working class)" is probably my favorite tune. oddly enough, i was really into them right from the beginning. i don't know how many of you out there (all 3 of you... lol) are aware of a radio station here in LA called KROQ. well, back in the day it fucking ROCKED. the police, r.e.m., u2, i can't tell you all the bands i heard for the first time on KROQ.

anyway, back to the mystic knights of the oingo boingo... i think my introduction to them was around 1980. it was party music. some of it was a larf riot. the thing that strikes me now is how well-crafted a shitload of these tunes were. plus, they had a horn section and broke out the xylophone on many occasions. those things alone make them totally kick-ass.

what got me in this frame of mind was hearing them during the fade to commercial on mike malloy's radio show. i was on my way home from target, and there it was. so i came home and dug out the cd. i probably hadn't touched it even since the last time i took all the cd's out of their holders and cleaned them. (i really should take a pic of this thing on the wall behind me... ikea's dirigent, and they don't make it anymore, the fucking bastards!) anyhoo, it makes me think i should rip everything i own and get rid of the hard copies. *lol*

"and i may be greasing the wheels in a noisy factory
oh, i may be hunched over metal machines
watching the gears as they move
just reminds me of bodies in motion
the sweat and the sound"

- "wild sex (in the working class)", oingo boingo

so now i'm listening to orbital. i like the cadence of this song for typing.

i think i'm going to tell wen'l to start leaving the guitar here during the day. i think i am going to give it a try too. even though i'll be forced to keep my fingernails short, which in my case is no small feat. i guess i should be glad that my circulation is so good, eh? i use my fingers a lot, and my fingernails grow wicked fast. like, they're practically to the quick right now. in about 10 days, they'd be a quarter inch past the ends of my fingers. to keep them this short, i gotta file them every couple days.

but, my brain needs a challenge, and i can't afford rosetta stone at the moment.

um..

2009-05-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

i finally talked to my dad's wife. it's probably a sign of my immaturity to have the word stepmother bounce around my brain so unpleasantly. i actually think i might like her, and it's still weird to hear "my stepmother" in my mind when i think about her.

she called my brother, actually. i just wanted to say hello, and ended up talking to her for like 45 minutes. about my dad mostly. i didn't blog about what he's been going through, but i'll give the cliffs notes here: he ended up in the hospital. one totally dead kidney, and the other about to fail. the dead one's been needing to come out for like 2 years, but he had other shit to do... like sturgis and a "bike" ride to florida and stuff.

and this time, he was like a day from death before he could be convinced to go to the emergency room, at a legit hospital and not the one in his podunk hometown. he needs to lose 40 more lbs, he needs to cooperate with his nephrologist, he needs to get real about his diet. he's doing none of these things, and went so far as to rip out his own fucking foley. doc says he'll be on dialysis in a matter of months unless he shapes up.

i talked to him once when he was in the hospital. he apologized to me for the way he's been behaving towards me since my mom died. for dumping the shit in my lap that he did. i had to let him go (a doc needed to give him a poke somewhere), and it was a good thing. i was too floored to go on.

anyway, he's not getting his shit together. kelly (that would be the sm) called joel to ask him to give dad a call. when she got me on the phone, she asked me to do the same thing. i'm wondering how i'm supposed to accomplish all this without it coming off like i'm telling him what to do. she wants more years out of him than it looks like he's got in him, and i can understand feeling that way about a husband. but the shit she told me about him, and the way he is, is so completely unreal to me. why'd we have to get the years with him we did if to her, he's gonna be all that and a bag of chips?

i got issues. enough to offer subscriptions. i'd like some answers while i still have a parent alive to give them to me. not so i can judge him for those answers, which is the thing i'll never get through to him. the older i get, the simpler the thing that makes things make sense. just knowing why would help immensely.

i'll tell you one thing: when i heard people had been after him for weeks to go to the damn doctor, i wanted to kick him in the balls. my mom did that once, and it almost killed her too - it was a hernia gone extremely bad - he gave her a total ration of shit. but now that she's gone, he gets to be all la-di-da about making my brother and i parentless?

i want to make this call. i'd like to extend his olive branch back to him. what do i say?

a new (to me) computer

2009-05-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

so wen'l calls me from work the other day. do i want an apple? apparently, his boss's kid got a new notebook and offered the old (this) one to us.

it's the last iteration of the iBook G4. i read gripes about the iBook on the internet, but this is the most stable computer i've ever used. i'm definitely sold. the design is elegant and spare. everything on the internet looks so much better. sites like tastespotting.com are breathtaking.

i just wish that they weren't so fucking expensive.

k this is ridic...

2009-04-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

also, i haven't had a smoke since last sunday. :)

still 39 dammit

2009-04-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

well for about an hour and 50 minutes anyway. ain't it a bitch that i have to turn 40 on a monday?

anyhoo, we had a few peeps over for dinner tonight. carnitas and margaritas and a cake that gave me a belly ache. apparently i am too old for pastries that rich.

got some kick-ass swag. my darling wen'l got me "message in a box", the complete recordings of the police and a pair of silver earrings from coach. they're little peace signs, and i've had my eye on them forever. he's the kind of guy who files things away for future reference. i love that about him.

my auntie dee got me a watch. alas, it was a bit too small, so we're going to hook up later in the week and go get me a different one.

julianne and erik got me a gift card for bed, bath and beyond. it'll be fun figuring out what to get with it. :)

my brother got me a bevmo! gift card and 2 pair of kicks from his company, creative recreation. one's a pair of white high tops. the other ones i've had my eye on for months... he gets free shooz every season, and these other ones are from their hi-end line which is made in italy. he'd been yanking my chain about how he couldn't get the italian sneaks. they're carried at barney's and retail for $345 a pair. how fucking cool is it that my first pair of italian shooz is a pair of sneakers! they're suede and have hidden laces, and apparently i could get a grip for them on ebay. but fuck that! they're the first shoes in like 10 years other than flip-flops or birkenstocks i actually want to wear.

and... probably my biggest present i won't get till tomorrow. it's a present i'm giving myself. i am going to quit smoking tomorrow. well, actually i'm going to stop smoking in about an hour, when i have my last (HOPEFULLY!!!!) cigarette. i've got nicotine gum, and i'm going to use it. i'm going to sweat this out and get off the damn things. i'm going to have oral surgery before too much longer, and i've heard that dry sockets are worse than the pain of the actual extraction.

besides, my mom died of lung cancer. and i love my husband and i want to be with him for as long as i fucking can be, and smoking isn't compatible with a long life.

wish me luck kids!

BBC's 100 Books (?)

2009-03-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

Saw this on Tense Teacher's website. I've bolded the ones I've read.

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81.The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie

I kinda agree with TT. This list is a bit too heavy on the Brits.

not feeling it

2009-03-05T16:21:00.000-08:00

really, i'm not.

i've got about 5 weeks of being 39 left. i've decided i'm going to bite off more than i can chew during those 5 weeks, and i'm going to get off the coke. my friends, i have an atrocious coca-cola habit. seriously. i'd lose 3 lbs a week just not consuming all that HFCS.

i am going to find a store that's got kosher for passover coke, though and stock up.

i've also got some shit i'd like to get done around the house. first, i'd like to repaint the kitchen cabinets. i've got enough white paint to more than do the job. it's just that i don't want to paint them white. i'd actually like to paint the uppers a different color than the lowers. i just don't want to invest that kinda dough. not my house, and i've spent enough on it lately. i know they'll look a whole lot better shiny-ish white than they do right now.

it's like when the granite countertops had just been done, and the walls were this nasty yellow (that i would have never ever picked) and it was affecting my ability to cook. i shit you not, the clash made me ill. the granite's sorta taupe, white and black mostly. there's some gray too, obviously. i wanna paint the cabinets a really dark gray. sorta charcoal. i wonder what a tube of lamp black pigment goes for.

anyhoo, i'm having a party. i'm making the invites even. i'll post a pic of one, and if you see it, consider yourself invited.

i hate packing

2009-01-15T15:46:00.000-08:00

and i hope i don't end up regretting car-tripping with my aunt dolores. she, wen'l and i are headed for small-town northern california this weekend for a 50th anniversary party.

we hosted my aunt and the happy couple for dinner about a year ago (and got shitty drunk with them!), and wen'l and i vowed to make it to the fiesta this year. until about 2 weeks ago, it looked as though we wouldn't be able to make it... but shortly before xmas, my aunt said she was thinking about going... would i like to go with, she doesn't like traveling alone, etc. well, it ended up being the three of us when all the plans were made.

apparently, she can be a bear to travel with. she gets lost frequently and doesn't take direction well. lovely combo, eh? i'm going to cut her a bunch of slack, but i'm going to try to make it so i'm the one doing the driving north of slackamento.

i'm leaving my brother a clean house (how nice of me, no?). i'll finish packing as soon as wen'l gets home and picks out some shoes. i think we're going to have pizza for dinner tonight. she's supposed to get here somewhere between 6:00 and 6:30 tomorrow morning. she was thinking we'd leave after our traffic died down, but that would put us square in the teeth of slackto's rush hour (which apparently can be a bitch). praise jeebus she would listen to reason, and we're leaving before our traffic.

anyhoo... i'm hoping it'll be a lovely weekend.

o! one more thing! if you're in dire need of luggage (as we were, seeing as my father ganked ours when he moved to michigan... lovely weather they're having!), hit your local discount retailer, a la ross, marshall's, etc. i got a big, like i'll have to check it on an airplane big, samsonite suitcase that was originally like $250 for a tick under $60. nothing wrong with it. i went over it with a fine-tooth comb before i bought it. it was obviously overstock somewhere. and what a screaming bargain, no?

the holiday table

2008-11-27T17:17:00.000-08:00

will be groaning under the weight of tonight's feast. which is:

roasted turkey breast (w/ oil and herbs and wot not under the crispy skin)
sourdough sausage stuffing (not in the bird tho, that's a hospital trip waiting to happen)
my figure-friendly mashed potatoes (ha! heavy cream and butter?)
wild mushroom gravy (made w/ chicken stock i made myself!)
butter-braised baby brussels sprouts
cranberry sauce (see my previous post... the black pepper is the making of it, trust)
butterflake rolls
pumpkin pie w/ maple whipped cream

yeah... i'll be eating nothing but salad for a few days probably.

i hope you and yours have a lovely meal, wonderful conversation, and a long list of things to be thankful for.

much to be thankful for

2008-11-27T11:44:00.000-08:00

i've seen people list ten things they're thankful for.

1. i'm thankful i've had wendell in my life for five and a half years. life has made sense in a way it didn't before i knew him. there's been lots to get through, and we've brought out the best in each other.

2. i'm thankful that i can laugh so hard i can't breathe. it happened last night. my brother came along for the ride. we were gonna invent a gluten-free tofu turducken. turns out it's call a tofucken and it HAS to have gluten. but thanks for the smoke stef!

3. i'm thankful that someone with half a brain won the election on the 4th. i'm also glad he's been doing a press conference or fireside chat every day lately. the country needs assurance right now, and our current occupant's only official activity yesterday was pardoning the damn turkey.

4. i'm thankful i have my health. oh, i've whined aplenty lately about my various ailments (and i'm adding arthritis to the mix... my right knee's been causing me grief lately), but i'm really fine. no major problems, and i could have a grip of them with the genes i inherited.

5. i'm thankful i've finally worked up the nerve to quit smoking. smoking killed my mother at 62. i have a marriage that isn't miserable and i'd like to get to live as long with wendell as my mom was stuck with my dad. they were married almost 39 years. that'd make me 74, and that's not long enough.

6. i'm thankful i learned the trick about adding just a wee bit of black pepper to my cranberry sauce. that and vanilla, again just a skosh.. like a capful. oh, and grand marnier. or cointreau. but especially the pepper. going back to the shit in the can that jiggles isn't an option.

7. i'm thankful my brother has decided he likes brussels sprouts.

8. i'm thankful the house hasn't fallen in on us. there's any number of things wrong with this place, shit that should have been dealt with before it was (re)listed. if it sold it wouldn't pass an inspection. but it's still here, even with the wind and shit we've had lately, and for that i'm thankful.

9. i am thankful that my dad lives in michigan. i don't have to explain that one, do i?

10. i'm thankful i still have my three loyal readers. they're all people i'd have a beer with if they didn't live at least 2,000 miles away... have a beer and listen to some tunes... perhaps burn one. they provoke me in ways they'll never know. make me think things i might not have otherwise. stretching out is good for more than just the body.

grrr!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-19T14:56:00.000-08:00

kona is to blame -

the roolz:
1. post your list of the seven best albums, the seven bloggers you will tag, a copy of these rules, and a link back to this page. (what page? see #2.)
2. the trackback links for these things are always fucking broken, so fuck the rest of the rules he posted.
4. post a link back to the blogger who tagged you.

k, seven's a bitch. i could easily name 70. these are 7 that i listened to today. they are in no particular order, and some of them might have a comment or 2.

1. louder than bombs - the smiths
2. fables of the reconstruction - r.e.m.
3. rage against the machine (they opened for pearl jam at the palladium and tossed out copies of this on cassette. i was floored.)
4. nevermind - nirvana.
5. doolittle - pixies
6. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 - midnight oil (this is what opened my eyes politically speaking. i think i was 13 when i first heard it... it had a huge impact on me.)
7. dummy - portishead (omg the times this cd got me laid.)

now comes the hard part... picking seven peeps to foist this upon.

1.kona ok... give me seven more!
2.bizza
3.eden
4.dr. doug
5.lebowski urban achiever
6.heidi rude
7.american guy

the devil wind

2008-11-15T14:15:00.000-08:00

it's actually the santa ana winds, but i think i understand why they're sometimes called the devil wind... it smells rather like hell.

we're about 12 mi from the westernmost parts of the two fires burning locally. one started in the west end of corona, and cinders from that fire caught in yorba linda. a separate fire started in brea, and given the topography out there, they could very well merge.

we won't ever be in actual danger from these fires, ie we're ordered to evacuate... but fuck is it ever nasty here. the house is closed up, and the a/c is coming on about once an hour for about 15 mins.

check out these pics:

the above pics were taken about 12:30. notice the ash gathering in the corner of my bro's back window? notice the palm tree blowing?

the last three were taken about 2:00 pm. notice how much nastier it got in 2 hrs time? and how the area of blue sky has actually gotten bigger? wen'l thinks there's some sort of weird inversion happening. i think he might be right.

november 4th

2008-11-02T17:35:00.001-08:00

two days from now. if you haven't already voted (and aren't planning to tomorrow), make sure you get out and vote. i know most people say something like, "i don't care who you vote for, just vote." fuck that. i care who you're voting for. i want a president who says it's ok to have a lover's quarrel with your country. (wish i could remember who said that on maher the other night. i'd give em snaps.)

november 4th is also my 4th anniversary. wen'l and i got married 2 days after the chimperor was "re-elected". i want more than anything else to celebrate barack obama having won the election. we're poor, and about to be more so, what with the medical and dental bills i'll be racking up. we're exchanging presents, but we had a small budget. we're staying home for dinner and i'm making spaghetti con polpette. part of me wants to say fuck it and buy a bottle of champagne, even though i'd have to massage my budget for the rest of the month.

so i will be there, at lord baden-powell elementary, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, tuesday morning. i am not a morning person, and i will have to get up about 530 i think. much coffee will have to be consumed, and probably a bracing shower too. but i wouldn't miss this for anything. not only do i have to vote for obama, i have to vote no on a proposition on our ballot. the state of california cannot be in the business of making denying an entire group of people's civil rights part of our constitution. i haven't noticed more straight people filing for divorce since same-sex marriage became legal here. apparently, the institution isn't in danger as a result.

so, i better go get dinner out of the oven. if you live in california, please vote no on proposition 8, and no matter where else you live (in the US anyway), please vote for barack obama. if my 70 year old, lifelong republican aunt is, so can you.

i admit it. i choked up.

2008-11-02T15:17:00.000-08:00

don't mind the credits.

when it rains, it pours

2008-10-30T17:48:00.000-07:00

indeed.

i have to have my upper wisdom teeth extracted. i had a dental emergency the other morning, and went to dr. papazian. he sed they had to go. referred me to an oral/maxillofacial surgeon over in long beach. my consult and panoramic x-ray is the 12th.

get this - the thing in my parotid gland will probably show up in this x-ray. i will definitely be informing the doc of all my recent medical adventures at my consultation.

i wish i'd had the damn things taken out when i was a kid, before they ever came in. my ma had killer dental insurance back then. they paid like 75% on my orthodontia killer. instead, they started coming in around the time i was 27. my bottom ones have never fully erupted, but the upper ones did.I probably haven't been as diligent about the hygiene as i should have been, but these teeth are right against my tonsils (another relic i'm still equipped w/), and i gag like a bitch most of the time.

the bottom ones should come out eventually too, but thus far they're ok. no cavities or much decay, and they can wait.

i tried to have this all done a couple years ago, when wen'l and i had dental ins. the damn company denied my claim. that pissed my dentist off to no end. "they weren't pathological?" he almost seethed! the place the ins. co. would have wanted to do the damn procedure scared the shit out of me though. perhaps it's a good thing i'll be having it done by this guy.

i heart my dentist. i always have. he didn't charge me for the visit, or for the x-rays he took to give this surgeon. i just hope the dude will work out some sort of payment plan with me.

primus sucks

2008-10-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
too many puppies are trained not to bark.
at the sight of blood that must be spilled so that
we may maintain our oil fields.
too many puppies
too many puppies are taught to heal.
too many puppies are trained to kill.
on the command of men wearing money belts that buy
mistresses sleek animal pelts.
too many puppies.
too many puppies with guns in their hands.
too many puppies in foreign lands.
are dressed up sharp in suits of green and
placed upon the war machine.
too many puppies are just like me.
too many puppies are afraid to see.
the visions of the past brought to life again,
too many puppies, too many dead men.

that's from 1990, people. located on "frizzle fry", an album that was called the bastard child of dr. seuss and frank zappa.

2K

2008-10-20T20:43:00.001-07:00

lest you think my mind is all on myself tonight, it's not. tonight i heard the number i've been dreading for months - keith olbermann said tonight that it was the 2000th day since the declaration of mission accomplished.

i have a cousin over there.

there are much worse things in the world, even in my tiny one, than a tumor in my parotid gland.

sometimes i wish i were the kind of person who prays. sometimes, when things are really bad, i have a conversation with my late cousin stephen. (who died from a lack of health care btw. i remember all too well and it makes me scared in a way i can't adequately explain.). this conversation occurs only in my mind, but i remember having a very frank talk with him a few weeks before he suddenly died, and it brought me a very profound peace. i suppose it makes some sense that an atheist like me would have to have a vent (if you will) like that. i haven't yet had that conversation with him, so things can't be as bad as i was afraid.

stephen's been gone for 14 years now. the ache i feel at his absence is much deeper than what i feel for my own mother. that may sound pretty fucked up, but i'd known for 9 years that it was going to happen with her. he was alive, and a day later he wasn't. i think it's his being snatched away from us like that left a mark on me that will never go away.

i got to (just) long enough to say that life is long. trust me, even when i'm whining about how fucked up things are, i am incredibly grateful i've gotten to be here long enough to earn saying that.

fuck me

2008-10-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

well, the doc called this afternoon about quarter till five and said i need to get a ct scan of this thing, my "suspicious" parotid gland. too bad i had to blow the $ on the damn ultrasound to find that out. it might have provided me with a down payment on the damn thing if nothing else.

so i have to go pick up the report from her and take it an ent, who will invariably schedule the super-expensive test.

two things:

1. i'd be considerably less fucked if i lived in los angeles county. they have hospitals up there where i could receive treatment regardless of my ability to pay for it. no such safety net exists here in orange county, because they don't give two shits about poor people... i suppose back in the day if you didn't have insurance it was because you were poor. for whatever reason, you were poor. these days though, you can have a decent paying job, and not have it. or be eligible for it but not be able to afford it (our current pickle... it would run us in the neighborhood of $700/mo and that just not doable). there are supposedly some low-cost "alternatives" here in the OC, but sliding scale isn't going to be cheap for me.

2. i also wouldn't be in this pickle if the governator, mr. schwarzenegger, hadn't vetoed SB 840, which would have provided californians a single payer system. from the los angeles times, dated september 6, 2006:

An analysis commissioned by Health Care for All California, a nonprofit group that favors universal health insurance, estimated that universal coverage would have cost an extra $17 billion, but the state would have saved $25 billion through bulk purchasing of drugs and eliminating the multiple bureaucracies now required for hospitals and private insurance companies. The report was prepared last year by the Lewin Group, a Virginia-based healthcare consulting firm.

i wonder how much insurance company money has flowed in ahhhnold's direction since he took office. (*) this is going to become an even bigger problem in this state, and sticking his head in the sand and refusing to be the one to deal with it was the behavior of a very girly man.

* - apparently it's over a million dollars.

today's the day

2008-10-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

i'm having that ultrasound the doc threatened me with a few weeks ago this afternoon. i really need it to be something that doesn't require immediate (and expensive) intervention. we're barely squeaking by right now as it is. i don't need to be dumping untold thou$ands worth of medical bills on top of my current liabilities.

those of you out there with health insurance should consider yourselves lucky today, and don't ever take your benefits for granted.

fuck

2008-10-14T17:21:00.000-07:00

so southern california is burning again. we've got optimal conditions - a weak santa ana with temps (locally) in the mid-80's, humidity in the high single digits, etc. warm, but not hot enough to turn on the a/c, so everything is coated in this mixture of ash and dust. my eyes are also full of that shit, and i'm miserable. low humidity alone will make one's eyes feel shitty, but it's 10x worse with all that crap in the air.

and, my skin is driving me nuts. i cannot drink enough to keep up with the air sucking the water out of my skin. there isn't enough lotion in the world. i'm actually ashy!

lol

2008-10-11T18:34:00.000-07:00

i'm here with the cause
i'm holding the torch
in the corner of your room
can you hear me?
and when you're dancing and laughing
and finally living
hear my voice in your head
and think of me kindly

i usually indulge my smiths jones when wen'l is at work. any guesses as to what song that is? and is karaoke dead? cuz i could sing the shit outta some smiths tunes, that one included. i think "heaven knows i'm miserable now" would be the one i'd be best at though.

so it's saturday night, and one of the side effects of being dead crackers broke is that old married farts can't go out and live it up. so we stay home, cook something yummy (and cheap! i think dinner tonight's gonna set me back about $8), watch some shit on the tivo, smoke a doob, and have a quick plook before going to bed early. things could certainly be worse. least i have some good company!

seasonal fruits and veg - fall 08

2008-10-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

if you're like me, you've noticed with considerable alarm the increase in your outlay for provisions. you might also have a slight weight problem like i do, and have a definite need to add additional vegetation to your diet. perhaps you're already a vegetarian (snaps to kona :D), and you've grown bored with your usual lineup of stuff.

perhaps you're already familiar with the concept of eating seasonally, and perhaps not. if not, did you know one can eat better AND cheaper by eating this way? and did you know the vast amount of stuff other than the root veggies and hard squashes to choose from? in our increasingly dire circumstances, both financial and environmental, more of us ought to be giving more thought to what we're eating, and the time of the year we're eating it. take peaches for example. i saw some at the store today. $3.99 a lb, and they're from chile, for fuck's sake. they must be scrumptious.

so, without further ado, here's the list of the stuff that's currently in season, and most of it is widely available.

after the list, you will find a recipe for one of my favorite soups. it contains three of the things on this list. give it a try on some chilly evening. we're having it tonight. it's supposed to get down into the 40's for the first time since last winter tonight, and here in california, that qualifies as cold.

apples
artichokes (second crop)
arugula
beets
broccoli
broccoli rabe (aka rapini)
brussels sprouts
cabbage
carrots
cauliflower
celeriac (aka celery root)
celery
chard
cranberries
edamame
eggplant (early fall)
fennel
figs
garlic
grapes (early fall)
green beans (early fall)
horseradish
jerusalem artichokes (aka sunchokes)
kale
kohlrabi (late fall)
leeks
lemongrass
lettuce
limes
mushrooms (wild)
okra (early fall)
onions
parsnips
pears
peppers (early fall)
persimmons
pomegranates
potatoes
pumpkins
quince [killer with manchego cheese!]
radicchio
radishes (all types)
rutabaga
salsify
scallions
shallots
shelling beans (early fall)
sweet potatoes
turnips
winter squash

and now, the recipe... baked potato soup! and sorry, but this won't work for vegans. lacto-ovo's, sure.

4 oz. bacon, rendered and crumbled, reserving drippings OR 3 T butter (or oil, i suppose)
6 c chicken stock, hot
4 large leftover baked potatoes, halved. pulp scooped out and put through a ricer or mashed
1½ c buttermilk
½ c sour cream
½ c freshly grated parmigiano-reggiano
2½ t salt (and don't use morton's for fuck's sake!)
1 t freshly ground pepper
2 T sherry vinegar
¼ c minced chives

in a dutch oven, over medium heat use the drippings or melt the butter and add the leeks. cook until the leeks are translucent and add the garlic. add the hot stock and whisk to combine. in a separate bowl, whisk together the potatoes, buttermilk, sour cream, and grated parmigiano-reggiano. add this mixture to the soup stirring constantly. season with salt and pepper. remove from the heat and add the sherry vinegar.

ladle into bowls and garnish with chives.

did i mention that...

2008-10-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

the suites those motherfuckers spent those nights in went for $1295.00 per? per night? per person? that's like a month worth of unemployment for one night at that pile. and believe me, nothing comes cheap at the st. reeeg. not even if one is sleeping, eating, and parking as a group, as those fucknuts certainly were.

another thing - am i the only person in the world that wants to wring that skinny, over-surgeried, can't keep her fucking yap shut mrs. mcsame's neck? she's so underfed i could probably do it with one hand. gawd, she needs to shut it. too bad her plastic surgeon can't do us all a favor and botox her fucking vocal chords, you know?

also, i'm beginnning to wonder where my 3 readers disappeared to.

$400k+ for...

2008-10-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

so this is where those AIG executives took a vacation on OUR dime: the st. regis resort and spa in monarch beach, california. now, i've spent a few nights at this place. back in the day, when wen'l was still working at neologic, the xmas festivities always took place at the st. reeeg. the only good thing i have to say about the place is that they had nice bath products (acqua di parma, to be exact). wait. one more good thing: their bars stock woodford reserve, my go-to bourbon.

anyhow, those execs, a week after we the people bailed their asses out to the tune of $85,000,000,000, flew to tacky-ass southern orange county and got spa treatments on us. ON US. motherfuckers need to pay us back and then find themselves applying for unemployment. no parachutes, golden or otherwise, for these assholes. they need to figure out how to pay their bills on $420 a week like the rest of us when we lose our jobs.

yet another food meme

2008-09-28T15:39:00.000-07:00

Got this from Eden, aka Piggyhawk :).

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Italicize any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here or at http://whitetrashbbq.blogspot.com linking to your results.

1. Tomato Soup Cake (?)
2. Turducken
3. Chicken Feet
4. Sauerbraten
5. Limburger Cheese
6. Asian Pears
7. Ham Hocks
8. Ghee
9. Corn Bread
10. Buffalo Mozzarella (mmm... mozzarella di bufala)
11. Florida Stone Crabs
12. Som Tum
13. Oxtails
14. Sundried Tomatoes
15. Beef Jerky
16. Tongue
17. Calves Liver
18. Shoofly pie
19. Pulled Pork
20. Sour Cream Chocolate Frosting
21. Bison
22. Persimmons
23. Monkfish (ahh... the poor man's lobster)
24. Hoja Santa Cheese
25. Whoopee pie
26. Peking Duck
27. Sopa de Ajo - Castilian Garlic Soup
28. Pistolettes
29. Naan
30. Country Ham
31. Jambalaya
32. Anchovies
33. Black and White Cookies
34. Chives
35. Potato Pancakes
36. Boudain
37. Macoun Apples
38. Brooklyn Pizza
39. Star Fruit
40. Dosa
41. Lutefisk
42. Rhubarb
43. Scrapple
44. Huitlacoche
45. Cherry Pierogi
46. Kumquats
47. Ambrosia Salad
48. Taylor Ham
49. Sardines
50. Capers
51. Dungeness Crabs (the best crab of all, I think)
52. Grape Leaves
53. Pepper Jelly
54. Hanger Steak
55. A just picked vine ripened tomato still hot from the sun (one of my favorite things to eat is a sandwich made with one... some mayo, basil, really good white bread.... mmm!)
56. Stuffed Quahogs
57. Smoked Eggs
58. Chicken Kiev
59. Bigos
60. Andouille
61. Shropshire Blue Cheese
62. Real Moonshine
63. Yuca
64. Chicken Katsu
65. Clams on the half shell
66. Scallion Pancakes
67. Tamales
68. Maine Lobster (not my favorite though)
69. Picadillo
70. Romesco Sauce
71. Sour Cherries
72. Paella
73. Gulf Shrimp
74. Empanadas
75. Fluff
76. Ostrich
77. Wild Blueberries
78. Skate
79. Black-eyed Peas
80. Hatch Chile Peppers
81. Morels
82. Water Chestnuts
83. Massaman Curry
84. Goose
85. Jamon Serrano
86. Knish
87. Quail Eggs
88. Gyoza
89. Conch
90. Rutabaga
91. Turtle
92. Salsify
93. Hummus
94. Ceviche
95. Barbecue Baby Back Ribs
96. Parmigiano-Reggiano
97. Pine Nuts
98. Basmati Rice
99. Pickled Herring
100. Kohlrabi

i'm a little late to the party..

2008-09-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

but i just discovered i kinda dig that tv show "heroes".

i think being forced to watch like 7 episodes this weekend is what's responsible.

i feel like an utter dork.

anyhoo, in other news, i've been a bit under the weather lately. something called *bacterial parotitis*. the parotid glands are the largest of the three sets of salivary glands. i went to the doc wednesday, and she thought it was either 1. an infection, and she wrote me a prescription for augmentin, the biggest horse pill you've ever seen; 2. a (most likely) benign tumor. well, i've since discovered it must be the first option because i don't think a tumor would be responding to antibiotics, and this thing in my neck has dramatically reduced in size since i started on the bug juice.

i'm going to make another appointment to see her towards the end of this week so she can see how things are going, etc.

as you may know, i am w/o health insurance, and i think i may have just dodged a bullet.

a food meme!

2008-08-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

Found this over at Culinary Adventures of a New Wife. Click the title of this post to visit!

Here's the simple rules:
1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2. Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3. Italicize any items that you would never consider eating.
4. Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

Omnivore's 100

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (actually it was habañero)
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters (and apparently, I'm allergic!)
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut (ICK!!)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar. Cognac, yes, but no cigar.
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips (once and only once... faux chocolate sucks!)
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin - um, that's CLAY!
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky (?!)
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam *hurl*
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

and now back to our regular programming

2008-08-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

well hello there. first post in ages that wasn't a meme, eh?

been sorta busy, and not really in the mood to do any blogging, the usual excuse.

anyhoo, what about my girl? rachel's getting her own show as soon as the freakshow that will be the rethuglican national convention is over! i'm so stoked :)

now, about the democratic national convention: i'm kinda glad they waited till wednesday to serve up the red meat, and i'm glad it was bubba who dished up the first serving. that speech made me remember why i liked him as much as i did. biden did have a lot to live up to after that, but he did just fine. hillary's speech sorta surprised me. michelle's didn't. obama's speech was one for the ages, but the speech that got me moist was al gore's, even though my heart breaks every time i see him.

i hate aching for what could have been.

les answers!

2008-08-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

meme answers:

1. god only knows - the beach boys
2. bring the noise - pe
3. the boondocks - asheru
4. hail hail - pearl jam
5. the ledge - the replacements
6. so whatcha want - the beastie boys
7. wiser time - the black crowes
8. suite: judy blue eyes - csn
9. hot! hot! hot! - the cure
10. alone again or - the damned
11. ants marching - dmb
12. september - earth wind & fire
13. shadowboxer - fiona apple
14. shimmer - fuel
15. go go gadget gospel - gnarls barkley
16. all these things that i've done - the killers
17. debaser - pixies
18. j'aurais toujours faim de toi - the police
19. it could be sweet - portishead
20. spagetti western - primus

all the answers tomorrow!

2008-08-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

to konagod - there is some beasties.

to the biz - i need song titles for the 2 artists you guessed right.

also, i've apparently lost 3 of my 5 readers.

yet another meme

2008-08-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

ganked this ages ago from tense teacher. if you're looking at it, consider yourself tagged.

les rules:
1. put your mp3 player or computer music player on random.
2. post the first four lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (skip repeat artists & instrumentals *duh*).
3. post, and let your friends guess which song and artist the lines come from.
4. NO googling!

1. i may not always love you
but long as there are stars above you
you never need to doubt it
i'll make you so sure about it

2. bass - how low can you go?
death row, what a brother know?
once again back is the incredible rhyme animal
the incredible d, public enemy number one

3. i am the stone that the builder refused
i am the visual, the inspiration that made ladies sing the blues
i'm the spark that makes your idea bright
the same spark that lights the dark so you can know your left from your right

4. ah, is there room for both of us?
both of us apart?
are we bound out of obligation?
is that all we've got?

5. all eyes look up to me
high above the filthy streets
heed no bullhorn when it calls
watch me fly and die, watch me fall

6. just plug me in just like i was eddie harris
you're eating crazy cheese like you'd think i'm from paris
you know i get fly you think i get high
you know that i'm gone and i'm a tell you all why

7. no time left now for shame
horizon behind me, no more pain
windswept stars blink and smile
another song, another mile

8. it's getting to the point
where i'm no fun anymore
i am sorry
sometimes it hurts so badly

9. the first time i saw lightning strike
i saw it underground
six deep feet below the street
the sky came crashing down

10. yeah said its alright
i wont forget
all the times
i waited patiently for you

11. he wakes up in the morning
does his teeth bite to eat and hes rolling
never changes a thing
the week ends the week begins

12. do you remember the 21st night of september?
love was changing the minds of pretenders
while chasing the clouds away
our hearts were ringing

13. once my lover, now my friend.
what a cruel thing to pretend.
what a cunning way to condescend.
once my lover, now my friend.

14. she calls me from the cold
just when i was low, feeling short of stable
and all that she intends
and all she keeps inside, isn't on the label

15. i'm well on my way
i'm almost everything
and this is my day
you make me want to say

16. when there's nowhere else to run
is there room for one more son
one more son
if you can hold on

17. got me a movie, i want you to know
slicing up eyeballs, i want you to know
girly so groovy, i want you to know
don't know about you, but i am un chien andalusia

18. rien de dormier cette nuit
je veux de toi
jusque'à ce que je sois sec
mais nos corps sont tout mouillés

19. i don't want to hurt you
for no reason have i but fear
and i ain't guilty of the crimes you accuse me of
but i'm guilty of fear

20. why do we do this c.g. and i?
every night vegetables,
minds numbed up by thc.
i've got my pen, c.g. the remote.

title not necessary

2008-07-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

this was a ? on a bulletin posted on myspace by my cousin halie:

17. I've come to realize that my dad...is and has never been around or involved resulting in us not trying either!

i could have answered the same way. another ? was something like "i've come to realize my mom...." . she answered "a saint". her mom might just be, considering how very normal and well-adjusted halie seems. i don't think i'd be answering that one the same way. my mom was most definitely mortal. she did a bunch of things she should have regretted if she didn't.

"normal" to me ended up being really twisted and kind of sick. passive-aggressive. unsupportive. neglectful. i learned it was all ok. it was ok that people treated me like shit. it was ok if they were nonexistent and uninvolved. it was ok if all the love and kindness in a relationship originated with me.

mind you, i ended up getting out of my relationship with her what i needed. it took her getting cancer and coming thisfuckingclose to dying for me to get it. we had the relationship i'd needed for the last 9 years she lived. i bet she'd say that was the best phase for her too.

i've never had the relationship i needed (or even wanted, for that matter) with my father, and i never will. believe me, i've tried. all my life it's seemed like one thing or another was more important to him than i was, and when that thing ended up being his precious harley davidsons, i threw in the towel. the man wasn't even going to inform me of his impending nuptials until my brother guilted him into it. can you believe that shit? in his eyes, i was supposed to find out about it when the invite showed up in the mail, 4 days before the blessed event!

this uninvolved, uninterested thing is something that runs in the family. i think i might have a touch of it myself. i do not stay in touch with both sides of my family as well as i should. i think finding halie on myspace and seeing just a bit of who she's become is what finally made me uncomfortable with my uninvolvement. praise the psm for technology, eh?

i think july 11th is as good a day to make a resolution as january 1st, so i'm going to resolve to call a few peeps more often, and email the ones i can much more often.

2008-07-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

well.. i'm sposed to be writing something more pleasant than i did yesterday.

i did have a rather pleasant surprise when i was out doing some errands about an hour ago. the cheap arco up on the corner has gone down another $.02/gal on gas. i put $40 in the tank on tuesday and paid $4.33/gal and now it's $4.31. too bad i didn't wait a couple days to gas up, no? the tank wasn't empty or anything, but i figured it would start going back up again, so i gassed the beast. and now it's gone down again.

are they trying to placate us, now that we all know that mcsame and all his ilk have no idea how much a gallon of gas costs? one wonders if they know the price of everything has gone up, not just gas, but anything that requires schlepping around in a vehicle of any kind (see yesterday's post about the poor ppl's french store).

it was even muggier here today, and more than one weather-related website is saying we might get t-storms the next couple days. wtF?! i'm already sweatin gallons, yo! too bad i can't figure out how to run my car on it!

did some work on the house today. both the funky bathrooms. i repurposed some knickknacks i had, and started working on the soon-to-be-rehabbed living room. i need to get to home depot and pick up some paint chips.

lastly, i need your help! one of my best pals and her family has moved into a new place (in IRVINE!! *hurling for her*), and i'm at a loss as to what to get her for a housewarming present. wen'l and i went all out when they got their very first place (like the gifts came in that blue box that sets girls' hearts all atwitter), so i'm wanting to be a little less grand this time. if any of you have a suggestion, please feel free to leave them in the comments.

no babies smiled at me today!

2008-07-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

god did tarjjjjjjjjjjjjay ever suck today. i had to get some tp, swiffer crap, and assorted other nonperishables. the parking lot was a zoo. i should have just gone on to the grocery store and gotten the tp (the only thing i was actually out of), but oh no! dipshit me had to find a spot and go inside. i don't know about your local poor people's french store, but mine is trying to conserve electricity by not keeping the thermostat turned down so low. add to that the humidity. for real, it's like a portly man's crotch around here lately. and, throw in a store packed with other sweaty motherfuckers. the back of my head was dripping when i finally got out.

somehow i managed to spend almost $75. i bought some swiffer wet doojies, the pads for the swiffer mop, 8 rolls of tp, granite countertop spray, stainless steel spray and dish soap. oh, and a copy of dwell. i love me some shelter mags. that's another story though.

we're so fucked. i've noticed that everything has gone up in price. just a bit, mind you, but a bit nonetheless. the same cart of shit cost me about $5 less a couple months ago, and i shop a lot. every fucking cart is costing me at least $5 more. add to that the truly obscene amount a tank of gas is costing me these days, and i bet i'm spending a good $300 a month more than i'd like to. mind you, i don't have any debt, but i'd like to be putting at least half the money i'm spending but not wanting to to better fucking use! savings, roth iras, whatever.

and... on a slightly unrelated subject... i'm still pissed at sen. obama. why does he have to be such a spineless wimp about this fisa shit? and why isn't it also frying his ass that it's poking far too many holes in the 4th amendment? i'd set up an automatic donation thingy that i had to undo because of that shit. i'm going to protest his dipshittery with my pocketbook. perhaps i'll throw some more $ at him when i calm down. even considering my current need to slap some sense into him, i realize he needs to get elected in november. no way can that old man with the cancer on the side of his face (cuz come on.. what IS that lump on the left side of his face?) get handed that job. i have a cousin who's already been to iraq that'll be back in country within the next couple weeks. his tour's sposed to be like 15 months. and now the iraqis themselves are saying there needs to be a timetable. the shit needs to be over with, and not yesterday. like 1897 yesterdays ago.

k, that's my rant for the week. i'll bb tomorrow with something more pleasant, k?

sorry Eden, but i heart snakes

2008-07-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

i got this from Eden. if you're looking at it, you're tagged!

Accent: None. Californians don't have one.
Breakfast or no breakfast: That depends. If someone else is making it, sure! If not, then normally I don't partake.
Chore I don’t care for: Cleaning the bathrooms. Two men live in this house. Try to imagine the amount of body hair that can accumulate. Also, keep in mind I tidy up the shitters about 2x/week. The hair and the toilets make me wanna barf.
Dog or Cat: Dog. I loathe cats.
Essential Electronics: Cell phone, puter, 60” of tasty hi-def goodness, PS3.
Favorite Cologne: Acqua di Parma. I love how it smells, all citrus-y and slightly soapy. Chanel Allure Sensuelle. I can't really explain the smell of that one though. And, oddly enough, Acqua di Gio for men. I like the broads' version of it fine, but the dudes' is even more delicious. On occasion I sneak some of my bro's. I figure it's only fair since I introduced him to it and it's his sig. scent now.
Gold or Silver: Platinum?
Handbag I carry most often: My birthday bag (see below!).
Insomnia: Not normally, but sometimes. Depends on whether I spoke to my father that day or not.
Job Title: DG!
Kids: No thanks!
Living Arrangements: I live with my husband and my brother in my father's house. Cheap rent is cheap rent, kids. The 3 of us split the smallish mortgage on the place, and it makes sense w/ Wen'ls commute.
Most Admirable Trait: My ability to tell people some truth they don't want to hear but need to hear anyway.
Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: I wish I'd had some naughty childhood behavior. Perhaps it would have been a happier childhood if I had.
Overnight hospital stays: Concussion-induced coma in 1974. 72-hr observation in 1986. I wasn't crazy enough for them to keep me any longer than that. *lol*
Phobias: I don't know if it's exactly a phobia or not, but... I have vertigo and whenever I'm on a bridge of any length, I get all panic-y. The Richmond Bridge in the Bay Area was almost my undoing once. What's weird is I went over the Golden Gate on the same trip with no ill effects.
Quote: “The ink of a scholar is worth a thousand times more than the blood of a martyr.” - Lupe Fiasco
Reason to smile: Wen'l getting home from work, ANY baby smiling at me (hey, just cuz I don't want one doesn't mean I'm immune to their charms!), the sun and an ocean breeze.
Siblings: A half brother I've never met (try to guess which of my parents spawned him! *lol*) and the bro I live w/.
Time I wake up: Whenever the hell I want!
Unusual Talent or Skill: I paint well. Rather, I copy other people's shit really well.
Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Any that's overcooked. If they're not cooked to death, I'll eat any veggie.
Worst Habit: I smoke. My second worst habit is that I keep threatening to quit and have yet to.
X-rays: Oh, I've had a few. My last was a chest x-ray. The doc was afraid I might have pneumonia. Before that, it was my lower back.
Yummy Stuff: Boeuf bourguignon (waaaaaaaaay too hot for that these days!), tacos de carnitas, any ice cream that involves chocolate and/or coffee, tarte tatin, mac n cheese, spaghetti alla carbonara, homemade pizza.
Zoo Animal I Like Most: I love snakes, and they always have the big ones at the zoo!

independence day

2008-07-04T13:31:00.000-07:00

i do love this country. i love it in spite of hating it sometimes, as though it were a person.

i know it has a heart like one, and i know it isn't just in the midwest or in the south, no matter how much some people in those parts of the country would like the rest of us to believe.

i wish sen. obama would stop tracking so hard to the center. he should be remembering to dance with who brung him, you know? but i realize he'd about 10x better than what we have now, and better than mccain could ever think of being. at least obama realizes this country does best when people like you and me aren't struggling under the weight of our ever-increasing expenditures. when our wages aren't stagnant. trickle down economics has been proven to be a joke. trickle UP economics works though.

i just wish our collective first impulse wasn't to take our newfound wealth and sink it into mcmansions in the burbs, and big cars and more stuff that we'll have to find cabinet space for, you know?

anyway, happy 232nd birthday america.

troo dat

2008-07-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

got this in an email from my aunt. came very close to spraying my monitor with iced coffee when i saw it.

my political compass

2008-06-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

i saw this over at balls and walnuts, and thought i'd take the test myself. go to his blog to check out his results if you'd like (and if you'd like some context... he was patient enough to save some pics i'm not bothering with!)... the link is in the sidebar.

perhaps more later!

carnitas de julia

2008-06-02T17:20:00.000-07:00

this is the easiest thing i cook. it's great for the warmer months too. all you need equipment-wise is a crock pot. the ingredients and part of the procedure i found in gourmet magazine. i love me some foodie porn. anyway.. it was written by amy finley, the winner of last year's food tv contest. i made it, and i could tell it was lacking one thing... a certain crispiness. also, no garlic, and that's a crime.

there's one thing in it that might not be available in just any grocery store though. mexican oregano. if you don't have that or can't get it, i'd throw a bay leaf in instead. or, omit it entirely. it'll still be tres delish.

your mise-en-place:

1 5 lb boneless pork shoulder (butt end preferably), cut in about 5 1½" thick slabs
1 T salt (and use good salt dammit! i use gray salt from trader joe's)
1 T pepper (and i use a mill and it takes forever, but it's worth it)
1 T dried mexican oregano (or one bay leaf, or not)
2 good-sized onions, sliced into ¼" thick rings
4 large cloves garlic, smashed

one slow cooker

put the pork into the crock part of your slow cooker. in a small bowl, combine salt, pepper and mexican oregano. toss with the pork in the crock. place slightly broken up onion rings on top. place cover on crock and cook on low heat for 7-8 hrs.

remove to a plate to cool enough to shred. shred into large-ish chunks.

place a 12" (or larger, if you're lucky!) saute pan over med-hi heat with 1 T vegetable oil. this is inportant! do not forget that teeny little bit of oil. it will make all the difference in your crispies. when it's just starting to smoke, throw in all the pork and resist the urge to mess with it too much. just leave it be for about 4 mins. then bust it up a little and flip it over. give it another 4 mins. and you're good to go.

i usually serve this with steamed corn tortillas (handmade if you live where you can find them *swoon*), avocado slices and pico de gallo. i think it's the best thing i cook.

mass graves for the pump and the price is set

2008-04-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

what the hell does obama have to do?

hillary's made me lose all respect for her. she's doing mcsame's job for him for one thing. for another, she's with him on this gas tax holiday bullshit, and saying obama's out of touch with middle america... because he's got a brain in his head and realizes that 3 months of the roads and bridges in this country not being tended to will fuck us in the ass, sideways, in the long run.

why must she pander so? or, alternately, where the hell does she think the money to do that maintanence on our already mcgyver'd infrastructure is going to come from? certainly not the defense budget!

instead, we're talking about his pastor? and someone he sat on a board with? how people really ARE bitter? (see a couple posts down) how about they let the man talk about what he wants to, the shit we sometimes don't want to hear, but need to? continuing to ask him bullshit questions about shit that came to light almost 2 months ago now? how about hillary's little senior moment? where she "misspoke" *rme* about being forced to make a corkscrew landing under heavy sniper fire? or mcsame and his good buddy, the rev. hagge? you know, the one that said god inflicted hurricane katrina on new orleans because they were a bit too *friendly* to homosexuals? you know, just to be fair.

the movie ran through me
the glamour subdued me
the tabloid untied me
i'm empty please fill me
mister anchor assure me
that Baghdad is burning
your voice it is so soothing
that cunning mantra of killing
i need you my witness
to dress this up so bloodless
to numb me and purge me now
of thoughts of blaming you
yes the car is our wheelchair
my witness your coughing
oily silence mocks the legless boys
who travel now in coffins
on the corner
the jury's sleepless
we found your weakness
and it's right outside your door

- "testify", rage against the machine

anyhoo, where was i? oh yeah... i was bitching about the media, the traditional, ie multi-national conglomerate owned, media. why do they think we give half a fuck about that shit? or is it that they know there is a certain percentage of the population out there that they know will buy what they're selling? either way, i feel insulted. i, like an ever-larger percentage of americans, get my news from places i click to. if this swill is what they're going to inflict upon us, then may they perish from their own uselessness.

i'm fast approaching 40 here. i drive a car that's 12 years old and gets shitty mileage on the highway! i will keep paying my damn taxes. the taxes aren't the problem. our weak dollar and our petroleum-dependent administration are the damn problem. our army being in iraq keeping that oil in the ground. the chimperor said today that not enough oil is being produced. no shit, sherlock! you've got a blue-chip MBA and you just now realized that? when will you realize why? january 20, 2009?

btw, that song came out in 1999.

heh

2008-04-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

well i was just reading a blog that had a post on it called *coach whore*. you, my 3 faithful readers, know that i am a coach slut from waaaaaaaaay back.

i meant to post this right after my birthday. i got a bag from wen'l, and bought myself the matching wallet with the happy birthday coupon i got from coach ($50 off any $150 or larger purchase!). my bag was also purchased with a coupon. coach just loves me apparently.

anyhoo... here's the pics i ganked off coach.com. one of these days i'm going to gather all my various handbags and wallets and take their picture.

the bag:

the wallet:

and... i might have mentioned this before, but wen'l picked that bag out all by himself! he rawks almost as hard as i do, eh?

back!

2008-04-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

i left yesterday saying i need to go gas the beast, etc...

so i'm at the arco on the corner of dale and ball and the place is packed. it's one of the more reasonably priced gas stations around, so it's really no surprise that i have to wait for a pump. my fellow patrons are all grumbling about how little gas they're getting for their $50 (13 gallons here, and i got the *regular* unleaded). they sounded a bit, uhh... i dunno... bitter?

i don't believe in guns or god, so i can't cling (oops, does that make me elitist?) to either of those things, but i'm glad i have my DH. i'm sure he's glad he's got me too. it's better being bitter with someone you love, you know?

another thing i'm bitter about: the arrival of our impending "stimulus package". i wish we weren't so dead crackers broke so i could donate about half of it to mr. obama. that seems about the biggest FUCK YOU statement i can make to the bushies and their ilk in re trying to buy me off with a check for $600.

but just like everyone else i know, i'll be spending that money on shit like rent and the electric bill, not making political contributions or paying for the 3 day weekend out of town wen'l and i could surely stand.

what will you, dear reader(s), be doing when you get stimulated?

been awhile...

2008-04-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

my birthday was sunday. i turned 39. too old for a lot of things. too young for a few more.

i've been watching countdown with k.o. every night. mostly it's because i have a massive girl crush on rachel maddow. but also, i am so pissed off at the state of affairs politically that i want to barf.

mostly i'm pissed because my dipshit disillusionment with the clintons. they used to bitch and moan about the shit the right wing pulled, and i did so alongside them. now that they're resorting to the same bullshit tactics, i find myself bereft. how can they actually be doing this? how dare they?

i find myself understanding how it is people stop participating in the process.

i am also perturbed at how the punditry in this country won't let the whole "bittergate" thing go. last time i checked, (mostly) overpaid twits from inside the beltway weren't exactly known for their empathy with joe q. public. i don't live in the rust belt, but the economy around here pretty much sucks too, and i can't think of a better word than bitter to describe how i feel after almost 8 years of this.

what were the causes du jour last time around? gay marriage was one of them. all these states had bullshit legislation on their ballots decreeing marriage to be between a man and a woman, etc? now i read that some people who got married in massachusetts or canada and then moved to say, iowa, are now seeking to divorce... and guess what? not only will some states prevent you from getting married (a heartbreaking thing, no matter one's orientation), they'll keep you from breaking up too!

wtF?

sorry to end this in a weird place, but i gotta bounce. i need to gas up the beast and go pick up my husband. he takes the train. we're doing something to help, anyway.

more later. i promise.

ratchet & clank

2008-02-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

this game is evil.

i haven't played videogames since the early 80's. i rocked back then, and i kinda suck now, but i am soooooooooooo hooked on ratchet & clank future: tools of destruction. say what you will about the wii and the xbox 360, but the ps3 is just sick.

the graphics, the sound, all the weapons and devices... the vocal stylings of voice deity jim ward... of course, it doesn't hurt that i'm playing the game on 60" of tasty hi-def goodness.

if you have the ps3, i highly recommend you check this shit out, yo.

have you ever wondered what book you are?

2008-02-04T15:32:00.000-08:00

i saw this at konagod's. click below if you'd like to find out what book you are.

You're To Kill a Mockingbird!

by Harper Lee

Perceived as a revolutionary and groundbreaking person, you have
changed the minds of many people. While questioning the authority around you, you've
also taken a significant amount of flack. But you've had the admirable guts to
persevere. There's a weird guy in the neighborhood using dubious means to protect you,
but you're pretty sure it's worth it in the end. In the end, it remains unclear to you
whether finches and mockingbirds get along in real life.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

inspired by konagod

2008-02-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

so we're sitting here, the three of us, 2 smokin a phattie, listening to gnarls barkley, and chubness has a reptile wrapped around his left hand. "fix the run!"

i was going to take a pic of my bro's baby python, but the phone (no flash... wouldn't wanna spook her) is in the kitchen. so, this will have to do. for now. i'm gonna get a pic of her the next time she's out of her tank.

she's headed up his sleeve at the moment. lol

what i'm listening to right now... snaps to maven

2008-01-24T11:21:00.000-08:00

and now i walk around without a care
she's got me hooked
it just ain't fair, but i...
i'm love stoned and i could swear
that she knows

- j.t.

guess i'll be stayin put then...

2008-01-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% Los Angeles
65% Honolulu
60% San Diego
55% Chicago
55% Miami

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

drinkin with the senior citizens

2008-01-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

so, i had my mom's sister camilla, her hub (of 49[!!] years tuesday) davis, my aunt dolores (the aforementioned aunt gripe) and her b/f of several years and trips abroad john over for dinner tonite. camilla and davis are leaving on a cruise tomorrow, see... and wen'l and i thought we'd have em all over for dinner.

boeuf bourguignon. that's wot we had. HUGE hit (i'll provide the recipe upon request!). we also drank 5 bottles of wine. aunt camilla got ripsnortin drunk. i had to cut her off after she used the words "bitch" and "shit" in the same sentence.

anyhoo, it was a great time. i hadn't larfed that hard in ages. i'm sure the wine had something to do with it, but the company was great, and a swell time was had by all.

also, i took some pics of my kitchen. i'm going to do some improvements and i wanted to document the "before" so my three readers could compare and contrast. so, without further ado...

siete

2008-01-06T17:29:00.000-08:00

aka, suck it barry! getting tagged blows!

w/ no further ado - seven things that might be true (but are more likely all the proof one needs that i should cut down on the dopesmoking... and btw, that rhymed!):

uno - the first time my IQ got tested (when i was 5), it was 160. i got tested every couple of years till i was in the 9th grade(moving around a lot SUCKS), and each time it was lower. what's weird is i had just sustained a fairly significant head injury AND i didn't even try teh pot till i was 17. i'm stickin with the first result.

dos - although you wouldn't know it now, i was a pretty shitty cook till about 5 years ago, and certainly an unimaginative one.

tres - tenía seis años de español entre la escuela secundaria y la universidad. sé ahora hablar apenas español. puedo leer y puedo escribir. ¿pero hablando ahora? ¡aspiro!

cuatro - wen'l and i started out as fuck buddies, and both of us swore that we'd never EVER get married.

cinco - i actually lived in texas for awhile, and picked up one hell of an accent while i was there. in fact, people still ask me if i am from there.

seis - it's not in my nature to cut a brotha some slack.

siete - every single person who ever ate one of my cookies has asked me if i put a little something *special* in them.

cheers!

2007-12-31T22:45:00.000-08:00

because old married ladies like the bubbly.

i hope you and yours have a happy and healthy 2008.

feliz año nuevo!

chili con carne, sin frijoles

2007-12-19T16:27:00.000-08:00

i never put beans in my chili. chocolate and cinnamon, yes. beans, never. and i cook it in the oven. weird, i know. but my chili is the shiznit, and a lot of the reason why is how i cook it. i'm not going to post the recipe, but if you want it, shoot me an email at joolz.sexson@gmail.com.

still having computer problems. device driver issues, bios issues... i wish wen'l knew a lick about windows. well, he does... but not enough to figure out what the hell is going on with this damn thing.

just about done getting ready for xmas. bought a hoity-toity ham off the internet yesterday. a whole ham. for three people. the sammiches are gonna rock though.

i'm beginning to get burned out on cookies. shocking, i know. i think next year i'll be doing something else for wen'ls co-workers.

got a call from *restricted* yesterday. was in the middle of getting dinner ready, so it went to voicemail. didn't find out i had a voicemail till like 10pm. it was my dad. he didn't say anything but to give him a call, and i knew he wanted something. he never calls me unless there's a "favor" i can do for him.

wanted to be able to tell him to go f hisself, but unfortunately, i didn't win the mega millions last night. *sigh*

"I'm well on my way
I'm almost everything
And this is my day
You make me want to say
I'm freeee! Look at me!
Behold everything I'm allowed to see"

- cee-lo green

war, children... it's just a shot away

2007-12-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

you look a whole lot older than your years, but happy birthday keef.

suckage

2007-12-17T22:35:00.000-08:00

k i haven't been real good the last couple days. i have an excuse of sorts, in that my computer has been a snarky bitch the last few days.

now that the problem has been rectified i will be better about posting... in fact, i might be inclined to post a couple times a day to catch up.

it's sposed to rain tomorrow. this is like the 3rd time in a month it's rained here. i'm thinking we're going to be paid a visit by el niño. as long as the hillsides that just burned manage to stay intact, i hope it keeps it up. we could sure use it.

anyhoo, i have to get my fat ass to bed. the cookie baking commences in the morning! i'll take pics n everything :).

inaugural thursday thirteen - the fromage edition

2007-12-13T15:32:00.000-08:00

or would formaggio sound better?

1. parmigiano-reggiano. i refuse to use any other "parmesan". i have been on a stravecchio kick lately though. that means "extra old" in italian btw, and my stravecchio was aged 36 months. makes the world's best carbonara.
2. manchego. sheep's milk cheese from spain. they typically eat it with a quince paste called membrillo, but it's a bit difficult to find, and i prefer it with apples anyway.
3. cheddar. it should not be *mild* and it should certainly not be orange. i've had killer cheddar from all over though. vermont, quebec, even a raw-milk version from australia, and i love em all.
4. teleme. y'all can have your brie. this is my absolute favorite of the runny varieties.
5. gruyere. a bowl of french onion soup wouldn't be right without it, but i like eating it out of hand as well.
6. gorgonzola. did you know there are actually two different types of gorgonzola? there's gorgonzola dolce and the mountain variety as well. i like this best of all the blue cheeses because it is usually a lot creamier than, say, stilton.
7. gouda. another i love eating out of hand, and smoked gouda is great on a chicken breast sandwich.
8. chevre. this can mean any cheese made with goat's milk, but what i'm referring to is the young, soft cheese found normally in a log shape. the combination of this type of chevre paired with beets is divine, esp. when paired with walnuts (which i am unfortunately allergic to).
9. paneer. cheese you don't have to bread to fry!
10. burrata. it's a fresh italian cheese, made from mozzarella (di bufala) and cream (also di bufala). the outer shell is mozzarella while the inside contains both mozzarella and cream, giving it a unique soft texture. if you can find it when tomatoes are at their peak, make an insalata caprese with it. you might find it hard to go back.
11. cotija. it's a dry, grainy cheese from michoacán. i'd rather have this on my frijoles refritos than that icky orange stuff one normally gets at a "mexican"restaurant. mmm @ the salty goodness.
12. mascarpone. italian super-creamy cream cheese. it's not as tangy as american cream cheese, and one of my all-time favorite desserts is built on it. april strawberries, mascarpone, and brown sugar *swoon* it got its name from "mas que bueno", spanish for "better than good".
13. feta. i prefer the sheep's milk version.

40 cloves..

2007-12-12T19:50:00.000-08:00

ayup kids, it's time for another recipe!

3 whole heads garlic, about 40 cloves
3 lbs chicken thighs salt and pepper
1 T unsalted butter
2 T good olive oil
3 T Cognac
1½ c dry white wine
1 T fresh thyme leaves
2 T all-purpose flour
2 T heavy cream

separate the cloves of garlic and drop them into a pot of boiling water for 60 seconds. drain the garlic and peel. set aside.

dry the chicken with paper towels. season liberally with salt and pepper on both sides. heat the butter and oil in a large pot or dutch oven over medium-high heat. in batches, saute the chicken in the fat, skin side down first, until nicely browned, about 3 to 5 minutes on each side. turn with tongs or a spatula; you don't want to pierce the skin with a fork. if the fat is burning, turn the heat down to medium. when a batch is done, transfer it to a plate and continue to saute all the chicken in batches. remove the last chicken to the plate and add all of the garlic to the pot. lower the heat and saute for 5 to 10 minutes, turning often, until evenly browned. add cognac and the wine, return to a boil, and scrape the brown bits from the bottom of the pan. return the chicken to the pot with the juices and sprinkle with the thyme leaves. cover and simmer over the lowest heat for about 30 minutes, until all the chicken is done.

remove the chicken to a platter and cover with aluminum foil to keep warm. in a small bowl, whisk together ½ c of the sauce and the flour and then whisk it back into the sauce in the pot. raise the heat, add the cream, and boil for 3 minutes. add salt and pepper, to taste. pour the sauce and the garlic over the chicken and serve hot.

we're having this with couscous and a spinach, dried cranberry, candied pecan and blue cheese salad with raspberry vinaigrette. it's a packaged salad from trader joe's... pick it up if you've got one near!

finding another way to work suck into one's title, well.. it sucks

2007-12-11T17:10:00.000-08:00

k, yesterday's post sucked, AND i never came back.

started feeling a bit illish, and hit the sack early. my brother decided to share wotever icky intestinal thing he picked up, and i'm tired of counting the tiles on my bathroom floor. i think the anti-trots pills are finally kicking in though. *praisin jeebus*

i've had enough of being sick this autumn. first, i had that nasty cold from hell. you know, the one that killed like 10 people? well, it didn't kill me, but there were a few occasions when i was thinking the end was nigh. have you ever coughed so much your ribcage ached? well, that was me the week before thanksgiving. the aching ribs, the throbbing head, the green snot and i had the bad taste to pass it along to my husband.

i've had cases of the flu that kicked my ass less than that cold. took me three fucking weeks to get over it!

the bizza left me a comment on one of my previous posts, about how there's a 360, a PS3 AND a Wii (suck it, bitches!!) in my house and he wondered how i'd ever get anything done? i don't play them. i watch other people play them sometimes, but that's about it. more important to me is that the PS3 and 360 will play the hi-def dvd's. i think i might give the Wii a try though. i read something yesterday about how old folks' rec centers have em, and how they duke it out over who gets to bowl next.. i figure if the peeps at a "retirement community" can play it, i should be able to.

i've probably overshared today, but wtf.

one tip for ya: if you have the trots and no immodium, try poppin a tums or 2. it'll firm things right up.

movin' to montana soon...

2007-12-10T18:45:00.000-08:00

gonna be a dental floss tycoon

*snaps to konagod*

i know this doesn't count, but i'll be back later!

sucking lessons, part deux

2007-12-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

k, i forgot to thank the bizza for inviting me to his xmas potluck. his url is in my sidebar over there... look for *trite cliches and inevitable truisms* and check that shit out!

anyhoo... we did our usual sunday morning trip to tha LBC. breakfast @ grounds, a trip to trader joe's, and usually one additional market. sometimes bristol farms, sometimes stater bros. today it was the latter, and we picked up tonite's chow. we're having a super-slow roasted standing rib roast. also, some roasted potatoes and asparagus. should be a lovely meal.

tonite's our first colts game in lovely 1080p. wen'l tells me the lions are ahead of the cowgirls, and have the ball w/ under 6 mins remaining. also, the raiders are goin down like paris hilton on grainy video to green bay. i didn't used to give a fuck about football, but being married to a die-hard colts fan will do that to a person. mind you, i was always into sports. even played me a little ball back in the day, mostly 3 or 4, altho the coach did let me play some 1 in garbage time. that was always my favorite position. (and damn ain't YOU a perv!)

as i was sayin, i always liked sports. basketball and baseball for as long as i can remember. i think it was because there was no way in hell i'd ever play it (even if coach walsh had been the kinda dude to let a girl play). now i'm married to a perfect specimen for a quarterback... big brain, 6'4", 230, big in the shoulders and ass, and enormous hands... but the worst feet that ever lived.

he can ride the shit out of a bicycle though. not too long ago, he was doing 36 mi a DAY, back and forth to work. not lately though. my fucktard dad cleaned out the garage, including tools n wotnot that didn't belong to him. namely, the charger for wen'ls headlights. besides, he works a lot further away now, and he's taking metrolink and amtrak to get around.

bleh. i need to figure out how to cook this roast and prolly be thinking about getting it in the oven. but i'm gonna make a hot crab dip first! i'll bbl to tell you all about it!

i could give lessons in how to suck

2007-12-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

and before we go any further, get your mind out of the gutter!

konagod just left a comment on my blog and reminded me (HA!) that i haven't blogged in awhile. i haven't quit, i just haven't been inspired. plus, i've been busy helping my brother move in. yes, we're no longer alone (!), but this isn't as bad as i was afraid it might be.

anyhow, he came with a whole bunch of shit that had to be moved. most importantly, several knives we were lacking, a baby ball python that apparently likes me, and a GINORMOUS tv. we're talking 60" of hi-def goodness.

all of its various components are being hooked up today, at long last. the 360, the PS3, the surround sound, and the Wii (suck it bitches!). i'm listening to (1.)"suite: judy blue eyes" and smoking a bowl. i been doing housework for several hrs now and i decided i was entitled to a break.

it was then i spotted the email saying i had a comment from konagod (you know the drill... his url is in my sidebar). i've just now decided i'm going to join another blog buddy and observe the (now) 17 days for christmas. this means i'm going to post every (fucking) day till then. i don't think i've ever posted everyday. hell, i haven't posted 2 days in a row since i first got this thing i don't think.

now we're on to (2.)"take five" by the dave brubeck quartet. i think i'll hang around to do a random 10 today. who knows what i'll say in the meantime.

am i wrong for wanting to wring mike huckabee's scrawny neck? back in 1992, while campaigning for the US House of Representatives, he said that AIDS patients should be isolated. k, i'm just a housewife (with a decent education), but i knew in the 80's that you had to do a whole lot more than just be around someone who had the hiv to get AIDS.

are these whackjob handitards in the republican party going to give me no fucking choice but to move to europe? well, europe or melbourne, australia. which is only now an option (mad props to the ozzies for kicking john howard to teh curb, btw).

3. "september" by earth, wind & fire. "our hearts are ringing.. in the key that our souls are singing"
o the memories tied up with this song... hanging out in the summer before the 4th grade at the el dorado park rec center, getting taught how to dance. i have beefs galore with my parents, but one thing i'll forever be grateful to them for is allowing me to grow up where i did. it was way multi-culti and diverse even back then.

say do you remember
dancing in september
never was a cloudy day

4. "intro", by lupe fiasco

i've posted about that kid before. do yourself and go buy a copy of "food and liquor".

5. "spirits in the material world", the police. i know sting did practically all the writing for this band, but it's sooooooooo stewart copeland's band. *taking another rip* i wish i could do one thing as well as that man plays the drums. any one thing, i don't care what really.

6. "too many puppies", primus. another musical genius. the bastard child of frank zappa and dr. seuss. being a youngin and watching a 1000 young men overdose on testosterone simultaneously. their moshpit was performance art all by itself though. one thing you might not have known about me was i was at one time willing to be in a moshpit, and wore dr. martens everyday.

7. "gimme shelter", the rolling stones. i was the stones freak in a family of beatles fans. i was about 8 months old when it was first released.

8. "bury me", smashing pumpkins. o, "gish", how i loved thee. i'm gonna go fold some clothes... brb!
9. "rubber ring", the smiths... still folding!
10. "like suicide" (acoustic), soundgarden... putting away!

k... i think that's enough for the day. i'll bb tomorrow though. same bat time, same bat channel.

fer ozz... a lovely lemony digestivo

2007-09-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

limoncello is a wonderful after-dinner drink from the island of capri in the bay of naples. one can also make an assortment of cocktails and desserts like cheesecake and granita with it.

here's the recipe:

the zest of 10-12 lemons
1 liter vodka
1½ cups sugar
1 cup water

place vodka and zest in a sealable jar, like a mason jar and allow to sit in a cool, dark place for at least 7 days. at least 7 days later, place the sugar and the water in a saucepan and bring to a boil. allow to cook 5 minutes, remove from heat and allow to cool. add simple syrup to the vodka mixture and allow to stand overnight. strain through a layer of cheesecloth in a conical sieve, pressing the solids firmly. strain again through a second layer in the same manner. chill and allow to stand 1 week.

serve very cold. we keep our jar of it in the freezer.

snort

2007-09-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

thx for the link eden... y'all go visit her at http://blog.piggyhawk.net

to get yours, go here: http://www.careercruising.com
log in as “nycareers” and the pw is “landmark”
and take the “Career Matchmaker” test.

my results:

1. Chef ¤
2. Website Designer
3. Family and Consumer Scientist ¤
4. Industrial Designer
5. Desktop Publisher
6. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator
7. Sign Maker ¤
8. Fashion Designer
9. Interior Designer ¤
10. Security Systems Technician
11. Criminologist ¤
12. Electrician *
13. Plumber *
14. Electronics Assembler *
15. Animator
16. Cabinetmaker
17. Multimedia Developer
18. Food Scientist ¤
19. Anthropologist ¤
20. Professor ¤
21. Personal Financial Planner ¤
22. Electrical Engineering Tech *
23. Electronics Engineering Tech *
24. Butcher ¤
25. Cook ¤
26. Graphic Designer
27. Artist ¤
28. Activist ¤
29. Political Aide ¤
30. Exhibit Designer
31. Bicycle Mechanic *
32. Musical Instrument Builder and Repairer *
33. Computer Animator
34. Print Journalist ¤
35. Picture Framer
36. Furniture Finisher ¤
37. Writer ¤
38. Market Research Analyst ¤
39. Public Policy Analyst ¤
40. Communications Specialist

¤ = i'd &%$#@! rawk.
* = i'd &%$#@! suck.

Pavarotti - La donna è mobile - Rigoletto (DVD)

2007-09-06T15:53:00.001-07:00

Grazie Luciano e può voi riposarsi nella pace.

will it ever end?

2007-09-03T21:34:00.001-07:00

@ 9:30pm, it's still 88fucking°. it better cool off soon.

is it EVER gonna cool off?

2007-09-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

this is today @ 3:25pm. weather.com has been saying for a week that it's going to cool down. all it's done is get hotter. wtF?? it was 102° yesterday. this morning, they forecast a hi temp of 97° for today. so, i'm going to look at what they say tomorrow morning and add 10°.

it's cooler in the motherfucking IE than it is here right now. what gives? and will it ever fucking end?

p.s.- click that pic to enlarge.

shit in my house, a meme

2007-09-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

snagged from tense teacher:

What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? Sea Island Cotton body wash from Bath & Body Works (me) and Sea Salt Body Scrub from Anthony Logistics (Wen'l)
Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? No.
What would you change about your living room? Rip up the carpet and refinish the hardwood floors, and I'd paint. Also, I'd get a slipcover for the inherited couch.
Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? There aren't many, and they're dirty. Even though we have a dishwasher, we still do most of them by hand.
What is in your fridge? We just got back from Trader Joe's, so there's fruit, beer (three kinds... it's Labor Day weekend after all!), salumi/charcuterie, cheese (fromage/formaggio? *lol*), milk, meat for carne asada, plenty of green veg, eggs and breakfast-type pork products.
White or wheat bread? Wen'ls homemade brioche, so white.
What is on top of your refrigerator? The cutting board, Wen'ls lunch bucket and the crock containing his sourdough starter.
What color or design is on your shower curtain? It's embroidered white cotton.
How many plants are in your home? No plants inside the house. Plenty outside though.
Is your bed made right now? Yep. I make it every day.
Comet or Soft Scrub? Barkeeper's Friend.
Is your closet organized? Other than the shelf containing my Coach collection (all in their dustbags I might add) it's a total fucking mess, and there isn't really that much in it. Most of my clothes are of the fold-up variety.
Can you describe your flashlight? If I could find it, I could.
Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home? Water gets dispensed from the fridge into a plastic glass. I'd drink sweet tea out of the same glass. Coke always gets drank straight from the can.
Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? No, but as hot as it's been lately, I should have a pitcher of sun tea in there. Maybe I'll go get a pitcher started right now.
If you have a garage, is it cluttered? Um, yes, and most of the shit in it isn't even ours!
Curtains or blinds? Actually, most of the windows only have valances on them.
How many pillows do you sleep with? Normally one, but sometimes none.
Do you sleep with any lights on at night? Nope. The darker it is, the better.
How often do you vacuum? Wen'l does it every Saturday.
Standard toothbrush or electric? Old-school Oral-B.
What color is your toothbrush? It's pink and white, like always. My flosser gizmo is pink and I like them to match.
Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch? Yep. It's one of those coir ones and it does indeed say “Welcome” on it.
What is in your oven right now? Just the pizza stone.
Is there anything under your bed? This month's copy of Real Simple. That's it.
Chore you hate doing the most? Vacuuming and mopping.
What retro items are in your home? Well, the toaster looks sort of retro? It's a Cuisinart and only a couple years old though.
Do you have a separate room that you use as an office? Yep, and praise jeebus for it. I'd hate to have our computers and shit cluttering up another room.
How many mirrors are in your home? Let's see... 2 in the bathrooms, one in the the living room and one in the bedroom. 4.
Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home? There's money, but not it's not hidden nor is it for emergencies. I have about $40 in change that I need to take to the bank soon.
What color are your walls? Oh boy... the TV room is the color of a camel hair coat, the kitchen is “hopsack”*, the living room and dining room are sage green, the office is “tour eiffel”*, the half bath is “biscuit”**, the foyer and hallway are white, the full bath and bedroom are both blue (different, though related, shades) and the guest room is “thyme”.
Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home? Would Wen'ls 10” chef's knife count?
What does your home smell like right now? Cannabis de mist (snort) and fabric softener sheets.
Fave candle scent? Diptyque Heliotrope.
What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now? Sliced and whole kosher dills.
What color is your favorite bible? I'm an atheist. Hello!
Ever been on your roof? Hell no!
Do you own a stereo? There's a receiver in the home theater package, but other than that, our tunes are played on our computers. Mine has 5.1 surround sound though.
How many tvs do you have? Two. One hi-def and one lo-def.
How many house phones? Two. The cordless and the one in the kitchen.
Do you have a housekeeper? I fucking wish!
What style do you decorate in? Minimalist.
Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints? Both?
Is there a smoke detector in your home? One in every bedroom (ie, three), one in the kitchen and one in the TV room. The batteries get replaced every “spring forward”.
Case of fire, what are the items you'd grab if you only could make 1 quick trip? Wedding photos and wedding rings. I'd miss the hell out of my stand mixer though.

* = taupe. tour eiffel is darker than hopsack.
** = beige.
one of my biggest pet peeves is how totally fucking clever everyone has to be when naming colors.

feel free to gank, k?

south coast plaza can still suck my dick

2007-08-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

"the ink of a scholar is worth a thousand times more than the blood of a martyr"

-"american terrorist", lupe fiasco

told you i was crushin on this kid. i'm just sitting here waiting for wen'l to get home. we had lunch today, at our usual payday place. i hit the mall afterward and did some shopping. one of our best friends is expecting her first baby. we were all on pins and needles for a couple weeks in re this baby, and that's all i'm sayin. when we heard that all was indeed well, it was a huge relief. so i hit the baby gap and picked up the wee princess some kewl baby togs.

you all know, or should by now, that i'm not going to bear any progeny. i am a little concerned having a (sure to be) adorable little one in such close proximity is going to make me baby hungry. wen'l and i are supposed to visit this subject when i turn 40. i do know if it turns out i'm jonesing that we're going to adopt.

if a 34 yr old gets to go thru the drama this friend has been thru lately, i'm sure my 38+ yr old ova are probably far too broken to be messing with.

who knows tho... maybe being auntie joolz will be sufficient.

heh

2007-08-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

well, i'm learning how to have a green thumb. i've got just about everything ripped out of the flower beds in the front yard. i'm going to plant some herbs in one section. basil, thyme, oregano, some chives where there's a little shade. i'm going to incorporate rosemary plants into the rest of the landscaping. they grow great here year round, and the smell is great. they're drought-tolerant, which is a must for me. also going to plant a bunch of lavender. same reasons. and today at the behemoth megacorp home center, wen'l spotted some salvia. it's sage people. comes with all kinds of pretty colored flowers, and the leaves go in your thanksgiving stuffing.

i need to come up with something that's got white blooms on it and i'll be all set.

the dirt's in good shape. full of worms. worm poop is great fertilizer.

when the desire to have a green thumb happen? i think it's i'm trying to reconnect with my mom. i've been very angry at her, and it finally hit me that it's not getting me anywhere. she always had the nicest yard on the block, back in the day. even after she got sick the first time. i think it's what put her back together. getting all sweaty in the yard with dirt all over me, it hit me. it's very meditative. i've tried knitting, and for me, this is better.

food & liquor

2007-08-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

see.. i got this philosophy right
i think the world, and everything in it
is made up of a mix of two things
you got your good, y'know,
and your bad
you got your food,
and your liquor

"intro", lupe fiasco

i'm crushing musically on that kid. i've long had a soft spot for intelligent rap music. click on the title of this post to visit his home on the web.

lol

2007-08-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

house burgers a la wen'l

2007-07-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

so wen'l made brioche hamburger buns yesterday. i'm not posting the recipe (mostly because i don't understand it), but you can click on the title of this post to find the book he got it from.

w/ further ado, the food porn:

piping hot from the oven :)

an artfully styled house burger, as done by wen'l

yes, i know i'm lucky.

like i been sayin for years...

2007-06-28T21:34:00.001-07:00

the code one is sposed to copy and paste here is quite broken,
so click on the title of this post to rate YOUR blog!

i'm 15% conservative? lol

2007-06-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

from eden @ so anyway... (click title of this post)

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 15% Conservative, 85% Liberal
Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

the winters are gonna kill him if i don't first

2007-06-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

so i inform my father, henceforth the fucktard, that i know of his plans to move to michigan. he wants to know who i heard it from. what does it matter who i heard it from? you trying to remember what story you told to whom? my brother, dipshit. were ya lying to him too?

look, at this point, i'm glad. i don't ever have to deal with the prick again if this what he's doing. but... and this is a huge but: my grandma (his mother, for fuck's sake) is almost 90. she doesn't remember what day of the week it is anymore, and she's not remembering to take her meds. which means her life is in more jeopardy than we can allow to continue. she cannot live alone any longer. he should be a part of getting her to accept this. she thinks my aunt is malicious (she's not. she's definitely not). she's not accepting my being part of her care. i go over there to check her meds, see if she needs anything from the store, give her some company. all she's been doing lately is nursing 30 year old grudges she has with people. it's hard to just sit there and listen to it. i do, but it's no fucking picnic.

and when i tell her she needs to be better about taking her pills, and that she'd feel better if she would, she shines me on. she, all on her own, stopped taking one of her blood pressure meds. strokes run in her family. is she trying to court one? she has long since been claiming to want to die already.

like i really want to hear that. ME. my mom ain't been gone a year yet. but then i think: maybe things really are that bad. she's almost blind and practically deaf and she's had so much death for so very long. she wants to hang in till she's 90. her life insurance doubles when she's 90, and she says she's too mean to die.

she's not. back in the day she was the best grandma a kid could hope for. she took us kids to disneyland and went on all the rides with us. she'd take us out to her place in the desert and it was always a blast. since my cousin stephen died, it's all been downhill. she was still independent, still took good care of herself. but she got so bitter, and she never recovered.

and her dipshit, fucktard son thinks she's doin ok.

he'll be back in the state eventually. he's got some shit to do for his future welfare that he can only do here, in person. i think the line to kick his ass will be quite long.

i'm gonna make homemade mayo...

2007-05-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

with this:

i just got it from amazon.com for $149.99 with a $20 rebate and free shipping.

we have the old-skool 11-cup model in *empire red*. it needs many replacement parts. the work bowl is getting all cracked up and the lid's kinda trashed too, among other things. probably $100 worth all told.

so for another $30, we're gonna have a whole new food processor. :)

another thing...

2007-05-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

so i took a trip to BevMo! today. bought that (see above). now i'm imaginin all the kick-ass stuff i can make with it. amaretto ice cream. amaretto cheesecake. amaretto french toast.

i guess it's no surprise i'm on the portly side, eh?

i also got some hoity-toity old-timey pop. boylan's grape soda is the shiznit. and san pellegrino limonata makes a delightful cocktail, esp when you have a bit of limoncello to mix in. mmm.. limoncello cheesecake.

fuck.. i'll be makin dessert all weekend.

no subject redux

2007-05-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

the soupe l'oignon survived its stay in the freezer quite well. i should have gone a little easier on the cognac i added to it, or let it cook a little longer though. it was a bit, umm.. boozy.

hell, who am i kidding? we all eat french onion soup for the cheese anyway.

no subject

2007-05-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

i heart new herbal refreshments. if i weren't so sure the nsa is keeping an eye on me, i'd post a pic of it. there's a nug in here well over ¼oz. :)

i really should have a prescription for this shit. i have these ungodly headaches once in awhile, the result of a head injury i sustained over 30 yrs ago. they come complete with scintillating scotoma. it's my aura that makes me wanna barf, not the headache. and pot is the only thing that helps.

acourse, i like smoking it for its nonmedicinal purposes too. i'll wait while you roll your eyes. :)

dad's met someone back in the hinterlands. i had to go to the dmv for the fuckwit yet again. i'd love to go upside his head.

we're having french onion soup for dinner. it was in the freezer. i hope it survived its stay there.

a recipe!

2007-05-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

you better have some skillz if you think you're going to try this recipe. having a stand mixer wouldn't hurt either.

i know most cooks don't bake, and most bakers don't cook... but i could be either. all baking is is measuring properly and in the case of this recipe below, knowing how to not overwork your batter/dough.

chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream frosting:

2 t baking soda
1 t baking powder
1 t kosher salt
1 c buttermilk, shaken
½ c vegetable oil
2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
1 t pure vanilla extract
1 c freshly brewed espresso
chocolate buttercream, recipe follows

preheat the oven to 350° F. butter 2 (8 or 9 inch) round cake pans. line with parchment paper, then butter and flour the pans. sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and mix on low speed until combined. in another bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla. with the mixer on low speed, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry. with mixer still on low, add the coffee and stir just to combine, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula. pour the batter into the prepared pans and bake for 30 to 40 min, until a cake tester comes out clean. if you're using 9" pans, you'll definitely want to check them after 30 min. cool in the pans for 30 min, then turn them out onto a cooling rack and cool completely.

place 1 layer, flat side up, on a plate or cake stand. with a knife or offset spatula, spread the top with frosting. place the second layer on top, rounded side up, and spread the frosting evenly on the top and sides of the cake.

chocolate buttercream:
6 oz good semisweet chocolate (recommended: callebaut, valhrona or scharffen berger)
½ lb (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 extra-large egg yolk, at room temperature
1 t vanilla
1¼ cups sifted confectioners' sugar
1 T instant coffee powder (i use medaglia d'oro instant espresso powder)

chop the chocolate into fairly small placesand place it in a heat-proof bowl set over a pan of just simmering water. stir until just melted and set aside until cooled to room temperature.

in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium-high speed until light yellow and fluffy, about 3 min. add the egg yolk and vanilla and continue beating for 3 min. turn the mixer to low, gradually add the confectioners' sugar, then beat at medium speed, scraping down the bowl as necessary, until smooth and creamy. dissolve the coffee powder in 2 t of hot tap water. on low speed, add the chocolate and coffee to the butter mixture and mix until blended. don't whip! spread immediately on the cooled cake.

tongue-bath worthy pins

2007-05-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

i been threatening to do this for a long time now...

happy mother's day

2007-05-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

i'm not a mom. never going to be a mom. don't have one anymore either. :(

but i hope any of you out there who are moms have a wonderful day today, surrounded by the people who love you.

i'm a &%$#@! genius, yo!

2007-05-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

i ganked this from eden (so anyway... on the blogroll fyi):

a cooling trend...

2007-05-09T12:56:00.000-07:00

(AP photo)

let's hope it continues. it's been hellishly hot here the last few days. yesterday broke the century mark here in da OC.

makes me sick to see griffith park burning. AGAIN. apparently, this fire was started by some jackass that tossed a still smoldering cigarette butt out the window of his/her automobile. i smoke. i don't ever ditch my butts out the window. this sort of shit is what happens when one does that in so cal. i imagine this isn't the last time a fire will be started this year by this method. the hillsides are fucking crispy already from our lack of rain, and this kind of fire is fucking avoidable goddammit!

anyhoo, after weeks of no interest, i've got someone coming to look at the house tomorrow. time to get off my sorry ass and get back to the apartment hunt. i don't know quite what the deal is with the places i've been looking, but i think one needs a fico score in excess of 800 to get into any of them. even the place we looked at over in *rose park*. there was a dude behind what would have been our stairs smoking crack. !!

um, if my fico score was in excess of 800 and i could afford the fuckin rents these clowns think they can charge, i'd fuckin buy a place! as it is, i can only afford the rent.

how is it that someone in debt up to their eyeballs (who makes only the minimum payments on any of it) has no problem renting a place but someone who has NO credit card debt gets hosed?

fucked up society we live in, eh?

again, from konagod

2007-04-26T19:36:00.001-07:00

I am:
-3%
Republican.

"You're a damn Commie! Where's Tailgunner Joe when we need him?"

Are You A Republican?

love your mother

2007-04-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

happy 4/20 bitches!

2007-04-20T16:17:00.000-07:00

*ROTFPMSL*

yet another meme

2007-04-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

I ganked this from Konagod. Click the title of this post to check out his blog!

1. How tall are you barefoot?
Six feet.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
Hell to the no!

3. Do you own a gun?
Again, hell to the no.(!)

4. Who's your best friend?
My husband.

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
It was "parent", and no.

6. What music are you embarrassed to admit that you listen to?
Actually, I don't listen to anything that embarrasses me.

7. What's your favourite Christmas song?
It isn't actually an XMAS tune, but "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
A good cuppa joe.

9. Can you do push-ups?
Not if my life depended on it.

10. Why does one question always disappear?
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" That's what Kelly and Konagod said. I can't think of a better answer.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My wedding ring.

12. Do you like painkillers?
For breakfast, lunch and dinner!

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
My big brain. Or my prodigious cooking skills.

14. Do you own a knife?
I own several actually. I prefer Wüstof.

15. Do you have A.D.D.?
I am like the anti-A.D.D.

16. Middle Name?
Diane.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
Why isn't this spliff kicking in?
Why can't I find a fucking apartment already?
Does wanting a footrub tonight when I got one last night make me a greedy bitch?

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
Dinner tonight, a blended from It's a Grind, and smokes, in that order.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
Coke, coffee, San Pellegrino Limonata.

20. What time did you wake up today?
About 9:15.

22. Current worry?
That this fucking house will sell before I can find an apartment!

23. Current hate?
Same as it's been since January of 2001... The Prezteldent.

24. Favourite place to be?
Wherever Wen'l happens to be.

25. Least favourite place to be?
Anywhere near Wen'ls office. Irvine can suck my dick.

26. Where would you like to go?
Besides Long Beach, to my new crib? I'd like to go back to Napa.

27. Do you own slippers?
Ayup. A well-worn pair of UGGs.

28. What shirt are you wearing?
A gray t-shirt.

29. Do you burn or tan?
I tan eventually.

30. Favorite colour(s)?
Blue-black. (Props to Mr. Ries, my 11th grade English teacher)

31. Would you be a pirate?
Um, I think my bum wheels would preclude that as a career choice.

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
A week and a half ago. I had a rum and coke.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
O man, my ears couldn't take it.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Oddly enough, I didn't develop that kind of fear till I was an adult.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
No pockets. I'm wearing a pair of lounge-y type shorts.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Michael Chiarello getting *pazzo* on Napa Style, about green ketchup.

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
What, like you had Frette linens as a kid?

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
A concussion that rendered me comatose.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Two. Only one has TiVo though, so it's the only one that gets used.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
My friends are all on the quiet side.

42. Who is your most silent friend?
None of them are actually silent however.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Does my husband count?

44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
Nope. I live in the greater L.A. area. Can't see em to wish on em.

45. What is your favourite book?
"A Confederacy of Dunces" by John Kennedy Toole.

46. What is your favorite candy?
Perugina Baci!

47. What song do you want played at your wedding?
Already got married. Everything I wanted to hear got heard.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I'm not going to have a funeral, per se. I want everyone who knew me/loved me to throw one hell of a party though, and they can play whatever they want.

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Doing a crossword, trying to get to sleep.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?
Is today the day I find home?

apartment hunting sucks

2007-03-31T17:19:00.000-07:00

long beach palms @ sunset

i've decided i want to live in bluff heights over in long beach. it's a neighborhood about 1 sq mi in size, and leafy and full of craftsman bungaloes. wen'l and i looked at a place over there this afternoon, and i'm still swooning but trying to tell myself that i'm not going to get it. i think my not working doesn't look real good, and unfortunately i don't have the time to also find a job.

it's hard out there. our choice of neighborhoods is pretty much limited to the southeastern part of town, right along the ocean. the rents on places i've looked at range from $975 to $1500. the low end of that is because i stupidly started my search looking for a 1 bedroom place. i've pretty much come to the conclusion since that we kinda have to have a 2 bedroom. several have greatly exceeded my expectations, but all but 2 were the 1 bedrooms i started with. tiny tiny places with all the period architecture one would expect in this part of town. the floors in a couple of them have just taken my breath away. heart pine makes me swoon.

anyway, it's gonna be a task and ½ to find a place i'm afraid. and then we have to pass muster thru the financial portion of the enterprise. salaries are pretty high around these parts. having 2 in the household would definitely be preferable. neither of us has the best credit in the world (you try being unemployed for a couple years sometimes. it sucks worse than anything short of losing someone close to you.) certain things will become luxuries, and that's alright with me. and, i'm finally gonna quit smoking. no one will allow you to smoke inside the property anymore, and if i were unlazy enough to go outside to smoke now, i'd be doing it.

we all know how badly i need to quit. i need lots of fresh starts, namely a semi-estrangement of indeterminate length with my father. it will be very good for me to not have to deal with him anymore. he's moving to arizona allegedly, and that's more miles than i'd drive to visit him.

the thing i don't quite have figured out yet is if i'd go any more often if my mom was still alive and making this move. i can't quite get over being angry with her. all the crap she allowed to go unchecked with boberto that's currently biting me on the ass. the man has no idea how to pay his bills. checks will be bouncing, things will be late.. i don't think i'm the only person in the world who taught herself to be financially responsible (which is currently also biting me in the ass... my credit problems are not having enough of it. i don't believe in credit cards, but that's another story...). i just figured if i couldn't pay cash for something, i didn't need it.

i live pretty well, but i live well within my means. my grandma and my aunt gripe are the only 2 people i know of on that side of the family that have any sort of grasp on that concept.

fuck... well i feel better having gotten some shit off my chest, but i think it's time to go watch some tivo and have a cocktail. boylan's sugar cane cola (remember what coke was like back in the day? it's like that.) and cruzan estate dark rum. life is too fucking short to drink cheap booze.

card catalog generator

2007-03-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

click on the title of this post to make yer own!

snaps to eden @ http://piggyhawk.wordpress.com for directing me to make my own :)

more food porn

2007-03-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

cookies!! cool disher, no?

the hardest picture i've ever taken.

golden brown and delicious!

virtual dna

2007-03-19T17:27:00.001-07:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

he still has his chops

2007-03-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

k i didn't bake this lovely loaf of sesame semolina bread, but it was so purdy that i just had to post a pic.

i won't torture you with the recipe or the procedure... hell, i barely understand how sourdough bread works myself, and i live with the world's bestest amateur baker. suffice it to say, this was the best version of this particular loaf ever.

so, w/o further ado:

sesame semolina loaf, version 2.0

a boy and his bread

can you see why i'll never do the atkins diet? and... can you see why i proposed? i'm gonna cook him a lovely breakfast tomorrow morning, and this is gonna make the best damn toast!

what i SHOULD be doing

2007-03-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

right now is posting the recipe for the penne alla pecoraio i made last night.

hammer and the sickle, the news is at a trickle
the commissars are fickle but the stockpile grows
bombers keep acoming, engines softly humming
the stars and stripes are running for their own big show
another little flare up, storm brewed in a tea cup
imagine any mix up and the lot would go
nothing ever happens, nothing really matters
no one ever tells me so what am I to know

"read about it", midnight oil
(hirst/moginie/garrett)

what i am doing right now is sitting here sort of ashamed. ashamed that i live in the so-called first world. we keep perpetrating the same bullshit. this time it's the iraqis' turn. i'm sure the cambodians know exactly how they feel.

how many times does this have to happen before we make it stop? and exactly how many of us actually know what's going on in the world? or give a fuck about it? and why is it i haven't given up, seeing that i do? on both counts.

i keep hoping enough of us will say no more. haven't we got enough problems right the fuck here? kids are getting a shittier education than ever, you know. the kids that will be paying for your health care. do you really want to entrust your life to someone who learned nothing more than how to pass some standardized test? that's what will happen you know. there won't be many of them making the big bucks, therefore not kicking up a lot for your premiums. you'll be making do with far less than you should.

the country is falling apart. new orleans is still a wreck. can you believe the dutch, the masters at controlling flooding, offered to come help rebuild and our government turned them down? not enough money, apparently. oh, they can spend half a trillion dollars on their bogus, illegal, immoral war, but they'll be damned if they'll help americans? regular, often not white, hardworking and underpaid americans. who've had to give up their homes and move all over the country to get their lives even halfway back together.

i wish someone could tell me why chimpy and all his cronies are still free to walk amongst the rest of us? fuck being unemployed... how many laws do they get to break?

fucked in california

my bad.

*tap tap*

short 4 teeth

isn't she purdy?

another thing...

scratch that

another round of home improvement

lately

um..

a new (to me) computer

k this is ridic...

still 39 dammit

BBC's 100 Books (?)

not feeling it

i hate packing

the holiday table

much to be thankful for

grrr!!!!!!!!!!

the devil wind

november 4th

i admit it. i choked up.

when it rains, it pours

primus sucks

2K

fuck me

today's the day

fuck

lol

seasonal fruits and veg - fall 08

did i mention that...

$400k+ for...

yet another food meme

i'm a little late to the party..

a food meme!

and now back to our regular programming

les answers!

all the answers tomorrow!

yet another meme

title not necessary

no babies smiled at me today!

sorry Eden, but i heart snakes

independence day

troo dat

my political compass

carnitas de julia

mass graves for the pump and the price is set

heh

back!

been awhile...

ratchet & clank

have you ever wondered what book you are?

inspired by konagod

what i'm listening to right now... snaps to maven

guess i'll be stayin put then...

drinkin with the senior citizens

siete

cheers!

chili con carne, sin frijoles

war, children... it's just a shot away

suckage

inaugural thursday thirteen - the fromage edition

40 cloves..

finding another way to work *suck* into one's title, well.. it sucks

movin' to montana soon...

sucking lessons, part deux

i could give lessons in how to suck

fer ozz... a lovely lemony digestivo

*snort*

Pavarotti - La donna è mobile - Rigoletto (DVD)

will it ever end?

is it EVER gonna cool off?

shit in my house, a meme

south coast plaza can still suck my dick

heh

food & liquor

lol

house burgers a la wen'l

like i been sayin for years...

i'm 15% conservative? lol

tap tap

finding another way to work suck into one's title, well.. it sucks

snort